The ONG family Homeschool

Our Homeschoolers Sing! Christ the Lord is Risen!!!

As I mentioned on the FB page,  conducting christian young persons choir is one of the more meaningful things I do as a homeschool mom. It is not meant to be an exclusively homeschool choir, but it turned out that the homeschoolers were the ones who were able to attend on monday afternoons. Kids who go to school are already quite tied up with school and CCA activities.

Anyway, we started this choir to give our children an opportunity to sing in a choir setting: sing in parts, do sectionals, learn singing techniques, etc.The fruits arising from this endeavour has been tremendous! Most exciting are the reports from parents of how their children are practicing their parts at home, enjoying singing together. I can testify to that: my own kids have been breaking out in song and in different parts whenever and where-ever (especially when they are travelling... :) )

We have been putting up half yearly concerts for the children to present what songs they have learned, as a chance to perform before an audience of family and friends. I'm so thankful to have such a wonderful and supportive community of homeschool parents who will turn up and enjoy their children's work. And their children are simply a pleasure to teach: responsive, polite, and attentive. Creative and humorous! They make choir sessions such a fun learning time.

Alas, with baby no. 6 due end June, I decided to have just one term of choir this year and we culminated all the choir we had done from January till March with a mini Ressurection week concert. Will certainly miss the kids. :(    

During choir, I do allocate some story and activity time that is related to what the children are singing so they sing with greater understanding. We enjoyed learning about the passover sacrifice lamb and Jesus the Lamb of God. What a blessing to teach (in most cases here, reinforce) bible truths to the children, how Jesus loves us to come to earth to die for us.

Without further ado, here's the older choir (9 -15 yrs) singing Look and Live. I challenged them with a more difficult program this term and they really rose to the challenge. Well done!!!

Listen to the last chorus where they sing acapella. :)

 

And this was the grand Finale combining with the younger choir (6-9 yrs) with Christ the Lord is Risen Today. So wonderful to hear their pure voices singing in glory and honor of Jesus!

 

Lord willing, we will re-start choir next year (2013). When bb no. 6 is 6 months old! :)

Blessed Resurrection Weekend to all. Jesus died once that we might live. He rose again to prove He has conquered death and we who believe in Him will follow in the same!

 

Dealing with Death from a Christian Parenting Perspective

It has been an eventful week for the whole clan. My hubby's father succumbed to pancreatic cancer and went home to be with the Lord exactly one week ago on the 23rd of March. It was a "thief on the cross" type conversion. His whole life, he believed in himself and refused to consider Christ. But by the mercy of God giving him two months to consider his mortality (from the initial diagnosis of cancer and a following multiple stroke, thank God, he was still responsive and able to understand the Bible's plan of salvation) he repented of his sin and received the gift of salvation!

God's promise that salvation is of grace and not of works at all (not even baptism or doing good deeds). Like the Thief who was crucified on next to Jesus, my FIL could not do any good work to earn his salvation but receive God's grace and thereafter enjoy the blessings of heaven. So much to be thankful to God for. His mercy reaches to even people who rejected Him all their lives. If only they will humble themselves and repent of their sins.

2 Peter 3:9 (KJV)  ⁹The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

(*he promise referring to God's impending judgment by fire upon the earth.)

My father in law was blessed to have been surrounded by his loved ones at his side when he took his final breath. His wife, his children, his grandchildren (my children). I do wonder who will be with me when I go?

Yes, my children and I were right there witnessing grandfather's passing. It was the first time I ever witnessed a death. And of course, it was my children's first time too.

I do know that many parents shield their children from this kind of things. Many, I believe, do not know how to approach the subject of death and dying. Thankfully, the bible has answers and we teach these to our children as a matter of conversation or when the topic arises during bible time or other teaching moments- not only when someone is very ill or facing death.

The Bible tells us of heaven and hell and judgment after death.

Hebrews 9:27 King James Version (KJV) ²⁷And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment:

The bible tells us that the dead in Christ are asleep, waiting for the day that Christ will return to catch the body to meet with the soul in the air. The bible tells us all who are in Christ will be then given a new resurrected body that is free from sin, disease, dysfunction, pain and death.

1 Thessalonians 4 King James Version (KJV) ¹³But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.

 ¹⁴For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.¹⁵For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.¹⁶For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: ¹⁷Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. ¹⁸Wherefore comfort one another with these words.

 

Indeed, what a comfort!These words are a comfort even to children and as parents, we need to be diligent to teach this to our children to prepare them for times when they will encounter death. With God's word to anchor their understanding, there is no morbid fear of death. How blessed are children who are taught the Word of God!

My five children all grieved over the death of their grandfather differently and in varying degrees, given their ages, different characters, and level of understanding. The more "stoic" one wept silently, while the more tender hearted one bawled. My 7 yr old was unmoved at the death bed but at the final burial, he cried quite sadly. Maybe through the days of the funeral, he came to understand more.

My youngest almost 3 yrs old, provided the comic relief, commenting quite happily "Ye Ye Die already!!" We had to laugh even with the tears still fresh on our faces. As we gazed at Ye Ye's body in repose, I told her Ye ye was sleeping and we will say Goodnight to him. In the morning, she still prayed as usual for Ye Ye to get well. :)

But through it all, I'm thankful that my children could make the time to be there for something as important as this (and not at school or something, unlike their cousins who had to be in school) and that we their parents could be there to walk them through the process and comfort them, hugging them, praying with them. Indeed, they are a comfort to us too, especially for my hubby.

I'll end this post with the words of the great Hymn writer, Fanny Crosby: Safe in the Arms of Jesus

1. Safe in the arms of Jesus,
     Safe on His gentle breast,
   There by His love o'ershaded,
     Sweetly my soul doth rest.
   Hark! 'tis a song of heaven
     Borne in the sweetest voice,
   Echoed by saints in spirit,
     Making my heart rejoice.
   • Safe in the arms of Jesus,
       Safe on His gentle breast,
     There by His love o'ershaded,
         Sweetly my soul doth rest.
2. Safe in the arms of Jesus,
     Safe from corroding care,
   Safe from the world's temptations,
     Sin cannot harm me there.
   Free from the blight of sorrow,
     Free from my doubts and fears;
   Only a few more trials,
     Only a few more tears.
3. Jesus, my heart's dear Refuge,
     Jesus has died for me;
   Firm on the Rock of Ages
     Ever my trust shall be.
   Here let me wait with patience,
     Wait till the night is o'er,
   Wait till I see the morning
     Break on the golden shore.

Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/h/679#ixzz1qaDsxF51

 

 _________________________________________

On a separate note, it was interesting to me that so many christians in Singapore choose cremation over burial. According to the casket people, only 3 in 100 choose burial.

Just some food for thought: on most (even all?) occasions when the bible mentions fire, is it to do with God's judgment or God's blessing? How were the bodies of the patriarchs like Abraham, Jacob, Joseph taken care of? Even Jesus after crucifixion? 

 Sadlly, even in this area, christians have succumbed to societal practices, not understanding the will of God. 

 

 

A Mother's Joy

So happy I just have to share. :)

Last night, one of the boys (boys being boys) was being mischievous, hid in the dark to scare both his sisters. He was very successful, too successful in fact because even after he was reprimanded and he apologized to baby (2 and a half yrs), she was still quite affected.

I tried to get her lie down to sleep but she came crying to me and to my pleasant surprise, she asked me to pray for her. How glad my heart was to know that my little girl has learned to turn to God in prayer when she is afraid!

I carried her out to the dark place and talked to her about the dark. Then we prayed, I asked God to protect her and help her to sleep. And she was assured enough to lie down by herself and fall asleep.

Next morning, when I recounted what happened the night before, my older girl revealed that there was another time that baby was afraid of the dark and so she taught her little sister to pray and prayed with her. :) I just knew it was one of the older siblings who was behind this! Of course, I thanked my older girl for teaching her lil sister good things!

I'm so glad that the children are at a stage whereby they can encourage each other to turn to God and walk with God. More of these blessings, Lord! :)

The Homeschool Teacher

Just some random thoughts off the top of my head, thinking about some recent happenings around here.

I've heard some moms say that they can't homeschool because they don't have the confidence to teach their children (probably to reach an educational goal or certificate in mind, like the PSLE.) In some cases, it may be a valid reason. One valid reason I can think of would be if the parent is not proficient in English....like I mean problems in  grammar, vocabulary, what have you..... Basically, like me with Mandarin. If I were to prepare my child for exams in Mandarin, I too will say I am not adequate. 

BUT I need to clarify, homeschooling is really not only about preparing our children for exams. Some folks I've encountered have a misconception of the term "homeschool" and think I'm doing like a private school with my own children as my students and have enquired if I am able to take in their children as well. Seriously. Where do I begin to explain myself??? lol

No, in homeschooling, we are preparing our offspring for LIFE- and the scope of teaching and learning is far wider than Languages, Maths and Science. And anyway, to make up for my inadequacies in Chinese, we do engage a home tutor for the children to, well, prepare for the exam. As a family, we have been trying to make a conscious effort to speak more Mandarin to each other. It has been an uphill task but not without laughter. Like when we use phrases wrongly. More often, my children transliterate their English into Chinese and the mistakes are hilarious! 

But to address those parents who don't have the confidence to teach or homeschool because they are the "rather be safe (ie. public school) than sorry" (ie. homeschool) folks (as if the school system is really the "safer" route) I have the following to say in my most friendly and loving way:

Being a Homeschool Teacher is a lot of O.J.T.

On the Job Training. Just like becoming a parent for the first time. O.J.T.

As concerned parents, we constantly assess ourselves and our children to check if our processes are working well, fixing what doesn't work well. Do the children relate well to us and to others? Are they growing as they should? Are they lacking in anything? etc. etc.

So, as a homeschooling parent, there is just the added dimesion of academic progress and responsibility. The parenting part of the equation (the concern for the welfare of your own children) comes naturally. The academic part of the equation can be picked up.

I am a "trained" teacher but I reckon I really apply 5% of what I learned in teacher training school in teaching my kids. Plus, I was not trained in Pri. school teaching so most of what Singapore curriculum stuff my kids are learning, I'm learning together with them. And many of us homeschool parents are not trained teachers. So what to do?

Ask around. A HS mom friend says the playground is the best place to get the latest info about exam related stuff. lol.

Go for courses.

Get good books/ websites.

There's so much self help available.

The Learning Curve

I'm talking about the Homeschool parent's learning curve. Not the child's. It really does get easier when it comes to teaching the next child in line and the next (and the next and the next... in my case. lol) You have more insight into how to teach a certain topic of maths, or explaining a certain scientific concept. (I noticed this in myself just the other day when teaching no. 2 how to round off numbers...)

The number of teaching tools you have also tend to grow over the years. Because, as a concerned homeschool parent, your ears are constantly tuned to information on a good website to teach geography, or the latest electronic device/ learning aid on the market. And you acquire those that you feel can work for you and your family's needs. If they don't work well, sell them off. ;)

Parent Teacher VS School Teacher: Who will love the child more?

Needless to say, the parent teacher has a vested interest in seeing their child succeed, not just in one subject to make it to the next year, but to becoming a well rounded, well educated person. The goals are quite different, hence the perspectives, be it long term or short term.

Our Convictions will carry us through

My hubby and I do believe that it is in God's best plan for us to homeschool our children. (For the fuller version, please go to this page.) Of course there are loads of question marks hanging over what each of our children will turn out to be. We only choose to go by the promises of God and take it one step at a time. Check your bible! God actively guides His children! We only need the faith to hold His hand through the whole process. (Readers of this blog know I constantly attest to this fact. ;) )

So, we have embraced this homeschooling lifestyle, and now we are 12 years into it and there's no looking back. I LOVE the freedom to work with my children and educate them as we deem right as a family on our family timetable.

If you have any other points or thoughts to add regarding the Homeschool Teacher, please do share in the comments or email me! :)

 

 

 

Date Night, Christmas Cookies and some lessons in letting go...

No. 1 (almost 12 yrs) is starting to exercise his culinary skills in the kitchen this holidays. He has expressed his interest in cooking since young (See this post when he was 9 yrs old!) and this year or so has been cooking his own simple meals like instant noodles and stuff. For one thing, he has grown tall enough to handle being at the stove safely. And he has grown strong enough to carry heavy pots and use a kitchen knife. In fact, he has replaced his papa as my jar opener guy. Handy!! :))

Date Night

Last week, after church camp, hubby and I decided to begin our new resolution to go out on a "date night", just the two of us. We just celebrated our 13th wedding aniversary and I realized that for 13 years, we only went out alone on our birthdays and our anniversary! And since those all fall between dec and march, that leaves 8 months of the year dateless.... Thankfully, we do communicate well (talk talk talk especially when the children have gone to sleep) so our marriage, by God's grace, has remained very strong. Nonetheless, we can always improve, hence, Date Night.

We are so glad that no. 1 is supportive of us going out without them. Because he would be left in charge so we really need his help. He even was happy to accept the job of cooking dinner! Last week, he did roast chicken. Indeed, an almost 12 yr old doing roast chicken. Hubby met an accuquaintance when we were out without the kids and he told her that the children were all at home eating kor kor's Roast Chicken. She thought everything was pre-prepared and all he has to do was turn on the oven.

Oh no. Kor kor did everything. He prepared the chicken which included chopping off the legs, head and erm.. bishop's nose. (No offense to any bishops reading this... haha) After that bit, he sat down and felt very accomplished already haha.. He chose what he wanted to put as the marinade. The next day, he peeled the potatoes and threw in garlic for good measure (because he loves garlic). And he wrapped all in the foil, turned on the oven, did the whole procedure by himself.

He was soooo proud of himself! And we (the entire family!) were all proud and happy too! He insisted that we try his chicken before we left for our date and it was good! Just like mama's. ;)

 

Here we are blissfully enjoying our date night while our 5 children (aged between almost 12 and 2 and half) were at home. (Grandparents are around but the kids are not allowed to disturb them.)

Also, I need to mention I am so blessed with the help of no. 2 (almost 10) for bathing her little sister! She's been doing it for a while now and mei mei loves to be bathed by her jie jie because they get to play bubbles. :)

Christmas Cookies

We tasked ourselves to bring Christmas Cookies to our church Christmas pot bless this year. And I had to wait till the very last minute to do the baking (Friday) and decorating (Saturday) to get them to church on Sunday morning!

And, you know the story of the best laid plans.... in my haphazard rush, I grabbed the cookie tray on the table, forgetting that I just took it out of the oven. I managed to burn all the fingers on my left hand except my pinky. It was so painful I almost cried. It was the first batch of cookies with much dough left in to go! I looked at no. 1 and told him, How this years' cookies turn out depends entirely on you now. And I left the kitchen to rest!

It turned out to be a good thing I left the kitchen because I am one of those overbearing mothers who jump at every wrong action that my children make. Well, I don't do that when it's strictly their project time and it's ok if it looks like it as done by a child. But when I want to do something that's meant to be a gift for others, I'm breathing down their necks (of course, I don't even allow the younger ones anywhere near, I only let them learn by watching) and jumping at every mistake their unpracticed hands make. Yes, I'm horribly uptight like that. :(

No. 1 started putting what he is learning in Science into his cookie decorating. This is the Circulatory System.

But I suppose all that had came to some good because no. 1 managed a fantastic job baking the cookies this year! All by himself!! He rolled the dough, cut it, transferred the cookies to the tray, placed them in the oven, timed it, took it out to cool.... while one batch was in the oven, he was working on another batch! Nothing burned! Though some cookies broke, most were excellently done. All because I wasn't around. LOL

No. 4 (6 yrs) Reindeer creation.

Of course, looking beyond yummy cookies, I am even more pleased at the character he displayed in this episode: perseverance, carefulness, independent and focused thinking, being methodical and systematic etc. etc. 

mama's reindeer (drawing inspiration from no.4)

Homeschooling (you mean baking cookies is part of homeschooling? yes, in my book ;) ) is really such an inexplicable endeavour- how it works, how it is successful. It succeeds despite the incompetence of the teacher (myself). If anyone out there thinks they need to be more "qualified" before they can teach their own children, then I think they will never homeschool. But if parents out there will think that even though they don't have the qualities and qualifications to homeschool but are willing to work at it and grow together with the children.... that is when the beauty of homeschooling will unfold year by year. For me, I believe it is God who is guiding me and growing my children. It is despite my feeble, inconsistent efforts, my children are blossoming in so many different areas of their lives. All glory needs to belong to God that no flesh should glory in His presence! 

 

Blessed Christmas to everyone. Christ was born so that we might have a second birth.

 

 

Cell Splitting is Tiring Business!

Word is getting out. Lord willing, next July, we will be holding our baby no. 6. I am reminded not to be presumptious but to say "Lord willing" it will happen.

James 4:14-15  Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.  For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.

Hubby and I are truy thankful for the five beautiful children He has bestowed us with. The pregnancies have not all been easy. I was hospitalized for dehydration for the 2nd and the 4th. With the 5th, I even contracted pneumonia in the first trimester. I don't know what this pregnancy will bring but I do know God is in charge, though sometimes He seems far away. 

So, I don't mean to brag, but I've gone through enough pregnancies to note this trend: there is no consistent trend wth pregnancies. lol! Every pregnancy is different. For example, when I was soooo sick with no. 4, it was so similar to no. 2 pregnancy, we were quite certain no. 4 would turn out to be a girl since 1 and 3 were boys. But nope, no. 4 turned out to be a boy (who made his mama really really sick!!)

You won't believe how thick my file at KK Hospital is. lol. And my gynae, Dr Han, (been with him for every birth!) has more than enough reference to plot my progress. Just remembering now... some of those were live birth forms that had to be signed by the doctor after delivering the baby. They are stained with blood and amniotic fluid. 

Eldest son (11yrs) went for a course on stop motion animation recently. He came home and told us he did a short "claymation" that was like cell-splitting. You know, from one ball to two to four to eight to sixteen... I don't know how far he got. He must have been inspired by a "how a baby is formed" video we watched recently..... and his new sibling inside of me. :)

His video got me thinking, cell splitting is tiring business! Even if I'm not doing any of the actual splitting. :p It's gotta take something from me, right? I mean with all that cell division happening somewhere in my inward parts.

So far this pregnancy has been relatively (comparing with five others) good. I'm not sick to the point I can't eat. In fact, I find myself eating and eating coz when the blood sugar drops, the nausea kicks in. I've only actually hurled twice so far. That's really really good.

Most predomiantly, this pregancy has been characterized by my lack of energy. I've been TIRED! I do the smallest of tasks and then I need to nap. Making trips out always ends in a fatigue that invades every muscle of my body with this heaviness that weighs me solidly down. It takes sheer will to fight it and move to get myself home and back in my bed to zzzzzz.

Bloated and gassy? CHECK.

Facial pimples? CHECK.

I'm yawning right now as I type.

I was thinking about the reactions so far from those who know I'm expecting our sixth. There's the usual, I can't even cope with my one/ two/ three, how do you do it??

Some ladies (my Christian friends) even want to make a visit to my place to see how on earth I do it. LOL! Like a field trip! LOL...I'm afraid, they will see our messy, tornado stuck house!

Well, I do not have six little kiddies lah. :) Thankfully, now my older children are older and are more able to do things. Eldest has been baking bread, learning to cook, etc. They help with all the laundry and dish washing and floor cleaning. Ok, granted sometimes, it is not up to standard, but that's all part of the practice and training.

I've said this before, the hardest time as a SAHM was when I had an infant, a 2 plus yr old and a 4 plus yr old. Looking back, that was the hardest time. Once they hit 5, they are a lot more "lucid" (haha) and are bigger, taller to help around the house more.

The key is: train them well.

That's why we resist employing a helper. Sure it's the more troublesome route but the children will miss so many learning opportunities otherwise. But then, that is also our homeschooler lifestyle. We place life skills quite as important as academics. I do imagine many kids out there have so much homework and other classes to attend that they have no time to do the dishes or the laundry.

There have been some not so nice comments. Well, they just don't know what a joy living in a large family really is! Each child is so unique and brings a different dimension into family life that's so enriching and meaningful for everyone.

Some reason that they would need to be financially able to support x no. of children before ever considering another. Well, for us it is purely a matter of faith. Not faith in faih, but faith in God. I am weak, but He is strong.

We have been primarily living on a single income for 11yrs now, and our family has been growing. But you know what? God is faithful! We have NEVER suffered lack.

The key is: Put God and His business first. He will take care of our business.

Matthew 6:30-34  Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Malachi 3:10-11  Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.  And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the LORD of hosts.

We do not give to God's work in order to get rich or have "promotions" (that buzz word "promotions"). We give because we want to honour God and acknowledge Him to be our provider and we rest in Him and trust Him. It may certainly seem foolish in some people's eyes, but I shall not worry over tomorrow. God is more than able to take care of me and my family. :)

Okies. Time to zzzzzzzzzzzz

 

 

 

What a Godly Wife can learn from a Plaster.

 

On Saturday at church, we had a bridal shower for one of our dear young ladies (she has such a heart to please God, bless her!) who will soon be married to one of our godly young men.  So our pastor's wife set us married ladies on a task to come up with a verse or poem or something along the lines of imparting to the bride-to-be some lessons that we have learned on our marriage journey. We were to leave it to her as a keepsake.

I was thinking of a small gift that I could give her which could be some kind of object lesson of what qualities and characteristics a godly wife should posses. I came up with a plaster. lol! I gave her a whole box full tied up in a ribbon.

In thinking about all the design features of a plaster, I came up with the following list of what a godly wife can learn from a plaster. Here goes. Hope you enjoy it. :)

What a Godly Wife can learn from a Plaster.

 1. A Plaster Protects

Proverbs 31:11-12  The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

 A Godly Wife protects her husband’s image and reputation by her behavior and actions.

The Example of Abigail:

1 Samuel 25:3  Now the name of the man was Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance: but the man was churlish and evil in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb.

Here we note the example of Abigail who did all she could to appease King David's wrath against her foolish husband Nabal. Her wise actions saved her husband's life and won the praise of David.

On another note, a Godly Wife also protects the home from any ungodly influences, both preemptively and actively. She helps to meet her husband’s every need so that he will not be in want.

Hebrews 13:4  Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

1 Corinthians 7:4  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

(Do I sound like the spokesperson for a certain notorious woman's club? ;p )

2. A Plaster is Medicated and is Antiseptic.

 1 Peter 3:1  Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation (**not just speech but behaviour and actions) of the wives;

 1 Corinthians 7:14-16  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.  For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

 

Though the above 2 sets of verses apply to a saved wife to an unsaved husband, we can learn that a Godly Wife can affect the spiritual health of her husband by her godly submission.  I would double underline the word submission if I could. Not preaching or nagging or emotional blackmailing. *note to self

 

 

3. A Plaster is Stretchy

 Proverbs 31:27  She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

This one verse doesn't explain it very well but if you look at the Proverbs 31 woman, she is an all rounder! She can assume many roles and take on many responsibilities and many different spheres. Consider: she is on top of managing the household's food, clothing- her children and servants have no lack. She does a home business. She can manage finances, buy and sell.. etc. etc. 

A Godly Wife is flexible and well rounded and can stretch to meet any situation. She has learned to work with her hands and keeps learning new skills to expand her repertoire to better serve her household.... Not the boss at the workplace or the company. That's bible.

 

4. A Plaster is Skin Coloured

 (Though I know these days, they have cute and loud coloured plasters for kids, little and big.)

Proverbs 31:23  Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

1 Peter 3:1-4  Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

A Godly Wife is discreet and blends into the background, not seeking glory of her own but the glory of her husband. In turn, his glory will be her glory and praise as well. How beautiful is that? :)

 

 5. A Plaster is Sticky

 

Ephesians 5:31-32  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12  Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

A Godly Wife is a faithful, covenant wife. She has thrown her lot in together with her husband, through thick or thin.

I'd like to throw in this little tidbit about what I learned about the difference between a contract and a covenant. A Contract is nullified when one party does not uphold their part of the deal. A Covenant still stands even when one party doesn't uphold their part of the deal. 

A Christian marriage is a covenant and not a contract. And God is a covenant keeping God.

 

6. A Plaster is pretty Tough and Durable

Proverbs 31:17  She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

A Godly Wife is spiritually, emotionally, and even physically tough to handle the rigors of the day and every trial that she may encounter. By the grace of God she will overcome and have the victory.

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There was another item I wanted to add in for the bridal shower but it's not a "common" use of plasters so I didn't. But after a good laugh with a dear sister, sister V, I decided to include this one.

7. A Plaster can come in handy to Plaster the Mouth

As in when the Godly Wife has moments of, erm, how shall I put it....  disagreement with her husband. :p This is possibly a sub-point under point no. 5.

James 3:5-6  Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!  And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

Psalms 39:1  I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle, while the wicked is before me.

   

Proverbs 27:15  A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. 

Proverbs 17:28  Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.

LOL!

The Ong Family Children's.... CHOIR!

 

:)))

We've been doing choir for a year now with other homeschoolers and I'm so glad that we are beginning to enjoy singing together in parts. I've noticed it and I'm thankful that the children are all quite musical! :)

Most importantly, I pray that these songs will build the children's faith and love for Jesus. And in sharing our video, we pray we may encourage someone out there too! :)

This morning, we finally got the singing recorded. No.3 suggested we use the staircase so that it looks interesting and the sound can bounce off the walls. lol

This is a lovely hymn:   I Love Thee, Lord Jesus words by Jeremiah Ingalls/ Frank Garlock and music by Jeremiah Ingalls.

1. I love Thee, Lord Jesus, my Saviour divine; I love Thee, Lord Jesus, I know Thou art mine.

I love Thee, I love Thee, and that Thou dost know; But how much I love Thee my actions will show.

2. O Jesus, my Saviour, with Thee I am blest, My life and salvation, my joy and my rest:

Thy name be my theme, and Thy love be my song; Thy grace shall inspire both my heart and my tongue.

3. I love Thee, Lord Jesus, my heart's dearest Guest; My Saviour and Master, I give Thee my best.

I love Thee for dying on dark Calvary; I love Thee for showing Thy great love to me.

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We did a couple of takes. Here, baby is holding her breakfast yoghurt I fixed yesterday. :)

 

And we were not so satisfied with that ending, so we did another take, after we changed baby's yoghurt smeared shirt and waited for the grass cutters outside to pass....

by this time, baby was, how should I put it... more distracted. *roll eyes*

 

 

Rejoice with me, God has blessed us with a mini-choir when we once had none. :)

Next, Lord willing, we look forward to the Ong Family orchestra! :D

Ps 150:6 Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord.

The Most Vital Link: Your Marriage

I know I probably have a rotting tooth. There's a gap that has the tendency to trap food and despite my efforts to keep it flossed from time to time, I know that it is probably is something big and bad happening in there. BUT I'm avoiding going to the dentist! Scardey cat. I'm living in denial. Well, since there's no pain, i don't need to go and have my tooth (maybe teeth? shudder..) removed. It's just going to bite me back one day.

This post is about how we need to maintain and nurture the most vital relationship in the family. No, not parent child relationship. Though I would suspect most people reading this blog would be most concerned about this, the precious children and how to best care for them.

No. Actually, the most vital lifeline relationship in the family, the one that is the be all and end all of all families:  the husband and wife relationship. I am happily married to my dear, loving husband. I feel often that God was so good and kind to have blessed me with a godly man like him, when I am so undeserving. 

Sadly, most marriage relationships are so often neglected and placed as the last priority. But when it fails, every other thread unravels. The marriage landscape is pretty ugly if you really stop to count the carnage. It's scary how marriages are failing. What went wrong?

Getting away from God's design is what went wrong. The Creator has specific design specifications for His creation Man and Woman to function and work. It can be seen in Genesis when God created Adam to be the one to have dominion over the earth and subdue it and He created Eve to be Adam's perfect helper.

I've been reading a really really great book Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl. What a blessing this book has been. It has been both sobering and enlightening. Hubby and I were laughing while reading pg 155, a segment taken out word for word from a home economics textbook from the 1950s. Some exerpts entitled How to be a Good Wife Today:

*Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home, and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

*Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

.

.

.

Some Don'ts:

*Don't greet him with problems or complaints.

*Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow, and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

etc.

(at this point, hubby sticks out his foot for me to remove his imaginary shoe. :p)

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Did any of you baulk yet? I know I did.... but partly in realization of how far my own standards are short from even this 1950s textbook.

Wow. The man is to be treated like a King??? And the woman is there to SERVE him??? Well, look again to the design of God and you will see, it is the way that God intended for blissful marriage!

Genesis 2:20-23  And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.  And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.  And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

1 Corinthians 11:8-12  For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.  Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.  Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God.

Stay at home and serve him???

 Titus 2:3-5  The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;  That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,  To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

The Word of God is blasphemed when wives do not perform their duties to their husbands! This is serious stuff. But really, is it soooo serious? You will know it is serious when God's blueprint is not followed and things get all kinds of ugly. That's when the sobering fact that God's word is to be feared really hits home. :(

These days, we live in an equal opportunity society whereby women can rise the ranks and can climb the career ladder, as high as any man can. No body wants to blame failed marriages on this. But consider the real cost to the family of having a working wife. The kind of working hours. Eating on the go. The house is like a hotel to eat sleep and bath only to rush out of the next morning. Can a woman honestly say she is carrying out the commandments of Titus 2 when she compares it to her daily lifestyle?

How much time and energy women these days devote to their careers and leave whatever is left to their children. And they wonder why their ungrateful husbands leave them for another woman! Too many women think that just because her man said "I do" somehow guarantees a marriage made in heaven. It doesn't. Marriage, like any other relationship, takes nurturing to build.

I haven't even talked about the children yet. The baby comes along. Your husband and wife relationship suddenly switch to survival mode. Dear, can you pick up a packet of diapers on the way home, we are out of them. Dear, the baby is sick, can you take leave to bring him to the doctor. Been there, done that. Life went on a while like that when the first and second babies came along in our lives. Hubby did his part to help me in raising the kids. That was my attitude. Until I one day realized that it was completely meaningless if I didn't have our relationship right. I wasn't treating him right! Even though I was a stay home mom!!! The children had become the third party. We made a decision to change.

You know, the kids are a lot happier when they know mommy and daddy love each other and they are not the thing that holds the tenuous ties family together. Such a big burden for children to bear! :( Remember my mantra. The Children are NOT the centre of the universe. Fight the temptation to make them that, tooth and nail.

SO how is your husband wife relationship doing? Can it be said to be healthy? Are you constantly in a meeting of minds, spirit and body? Or has the relationship really become more of a partnership, a co-operation to get things done: you do your part and I do mine?

Don't wait till you are in extreme pain before seeing the dentist. Do what you can before your tooth rots and stinks and eventually have to pull it out. 

 Created to be His Help Meet!! BUY IT!!!

Re-Posted: Ball and Chained to the House because of Baby? Not Me!

I wrote this in June 2009 when baby no. 5 was 2 months old. Some of my thoughts on how we ought to find ways to let the baby fit into the family schedule and not the other way around. Especially in Christian ministry.

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Babies need sleep, I certainly can understand.  It's terrible when the baby doesn't get enough sleep and gets all sorts of cranky from over-stimulation. However, I'm coming to know of more and more parents of babies (some are not so baby anymore, like a 3 year old I know), mostly first time parents, who sacrifice so much of their time out of the house for the sake of their child's sleep. For instance, they can't go out after 7 pm because baby has to sleep (in his cot). Heaven forbid that there be interruption of their child's all important time for physical growth and development! :OP 

Why am I writing this post? I'm thinking about last night. The Ong Family was at the airport last night sending off our dear Filipino missionary friends off. We all had a good time of fellowship and catching up with dear brethren, some we haven't been able to sit down and chat with in a while.

We were out the whole evening and got back at mid-night. Baby no. 5 (2mths old) naturally came with us! When we reached the airport at about 8:30pm, she was sleeping. So I put her into the stroller and there she stayed sleeping till we left the airport at 11:30pm. And she slept all the way home in the car seat and when we reached home, she fed a while and went back to sleep again.

Although we are not full-time in the ministry (as in, employed by the church), the Lord's work and His ministry are a very important aspect of our lives as individuals (hubby and I), and now, spilling into our family life.

As a "lifestyle choice", our children and babies go with us when we need to go. We have interesting photographs of our baby no. 3 sleeping in my cello case during our orchestra practice on Saturday years back. No. 4  was barely weeks old when I lugged him and no. 3 along to Bishan for no. 1 and 2's gymnastics class three years back. Our babies sleep anywhere! They have to! They grew up happy too! :) And I can also look back on my life, year after year, baby after baby, of happy memories of times serving God in the family as well as in church work with my dear brethren.

So, a lot of it, I attribute to a matter of training. Train the child to sleep anywhere, not only at home and in the cot. Then the child will be able to get rested even when the parent needs to go out. If the parent trains the child to fall asleep only in his cot, he's forever going to be worrying about making it home to the cot whenever sleep time comes.

And the other is, it comes down to priorities.. Is meeting all the (perceived) needs of the child more important than, say, serving God in His house? Using your talents for Him in various ministries of the church? Going door knocking to pass out tracts? Being in church on time on Sunday?

It is one of the "difficult to understand until you test it" truths from the Bible. Matthew 6:33 says But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

First serve God, mind His things and He will take care of our things. He has proven His Word true in our family! All praise and glory to God.

Too many parents work on the assumption of one. One child. The parent wants to do everything and make sure everything is perfect for their one child. Throw one more into the mix, all these "luxuries" have to go. Unless, perhaps, they get one more adult to serve the other child. Imagine then, with my family, throwing 2, 3, 4 more children in to the mix, how can we possibly only centre on the needs of the baby?

Other than sleep, the other thing I've noticed that keeps concerned parents at home is food. This is for those who have 6 month and above babies. The un-initiated (eg those with no children), may be thinking, what's the problem? Well, for some parents it is of utmost importance that their baby eats healthily. So, no salt, no preservatives diet. Us asians raise our babies on rice porridge with veges and fish or pork mince thrown in. To get this, it pretty much means you have to cook it at home. 

Okay, it's not hard to cook the porridge, pack it in a thermos and go out, right? The tricky bit is what happens when you go travelling?

It's pretty amazing that my family has traveled out of the country every year despite having a baby every other year for nine years. Every other year, with a toddler, we've flown somewhere (like Perth, Bangkok, Shanghai, even UK). Every year, we spend a week in Malaysia with our brethren for church family camp. (No. 3 was 1 mth old when he attended church camp.)

It certainly takes a bit more planning and effort. I've found a way to cook porridge "on the go"! My wonderful vacuum pot. My only regret is that I only found this pot from 4th baby onwards. But again, my babies turned out okay eating some "outside food", albeit very meshed. :)

It comes down to: if there's a will, there's a way. We love to be at church camps to be fellowshipping with the brethren and listening to the Word of God and growing as a family together. And the fact that we have a baby won't stop us from going. By the grace of God, we have always been blessed all round, in every aspect.  

After coming back from the airport last night, I've got the itch to fly off to somewhere again! ;) Come little baby, and fly with me.