Wow... I've all too quickly come to the last week of my second trimester! I shall miss you, second trimester.... First trimester is always about hormonal adjustments, third trimester is plain heavy, hot and achey. The backache already started a little last night after spending time in the kitchen cooking dinner, and that reminded me: third trimester is here.... horrors....
Well, since the first 6 months have zipped by so quickly, I do earnestly pray that the last three will zoom by as quickly. :))
Funny thing, our Beijing chinese lao shi asked me the other day why I was sprouting so many pimples. I said must be all the chilli I've been eating. I bought a bag of chilli padi and have been eating it with my lunches. Then she said the Chinese have a saying that with boy pregnancies mothers like to eat sour and with girl pregnancies- spicy hot! haha... they were right (in this case.)
So anyway, lately, I've been getting several emails from folks who want to find out more about homeschooling, or they just want to talk to someone who is homeschooling. I'm publishing one such exchange (with permission from the asker) for other's benefit. This asker and her husband are praying for the Lord's will concerning their children who haven't gone to primary 1 yet. Maybe there are other folks out there who have similar questions and doubts. These answers from me are, of course, purely my opinion and are based on my experience thus far, so take it or leave it. :) But I do hope it will be helpful to you, dear reader.
And thank you for writing me, J! :D
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First, what are your thoughts on higher education? We were just thinking if we homeschool through primary school, what's going to happen after that? Unlike the US where there are plenty of options and more people homeschooling, I'm not sure about our local scene. Can we homeschool through secondary level? But that would be like 9 subjects, and I don't think we can handle that (horrifying thought!) Or what happens after that? Polytechnic probably? Is JC still an option? I do recognize that God makes every child different with different gifts, but I would like to know more about the options available.
Ans 1) With homeschooling, the options for secondary school and beyond are wide open. Yes, JC is still in the cards for a homeschooler, poly too...... In fact, you don't have to think of how you are going to teach 9 subjects like the schools do. Your child doesn't need an O levels to enter university. (That's why the "through train" students in some schools skip O levels altogether and go straight to A levels in 6 years.)
You could use the homeschool curriculum certification and perhaps add an SAT or some other recognized certificate to apply for the institution of higher learning of your choice. For instance, there are ACE students in Singapore who have been admitted to certain faculties in NTU and the polys. And not just ACE of course. (I personally know such young ex-homeschoolers, btw.)
This is my take:
The beauty of homeschooling through the pre-college years is that you get to draw out the path together with your child, with God's guidance. Indeed, it is not a cookie cutter path that is predetermined by the school which just kinda pushes you on to the next level and the next, but it is a highly individualized, tailor-made education with an end goal in mind.
What I'm saying is that, for us as homeschooling parents who love our children and are so in tune with our children's talents, strengths and weaknesses, pray for God's will for the child's life work, and then chart out an education path to get them to that goal.
Like if you know your child is inclined to maths and engineering, you would want to help your child get all the prerequisite certification in order for him or her to enter in a course to get the relevant degree.
Sure, it sounds "if-fy". It is hard to know from the start what the child is inclined to do, or God's specific will. This is faith and trust and holding God's hand through the journey of growing the child God has given you. It is a way of choosing your child's education with God's will in the centre of it. Not just going with the tide of society and economic needs, or even what stream or class your child lands up in in Secondary School!!
Then there are also the arguments for homeschooling your child through the teen years. The teen years are the best years to really bring to fruition all the training you have been doing in the childhood years. Letting them go to be trained by peers and other folks who do not share your convictions is really such a waste of effort when you could be using the teen years to really dig deeper and bring out the best of character training.
For us, we are sharpening our arrows for the Masters use, where-ever that may be!
Second, do you struggle with feelings of inadequacy? I must confess I am not as patient as I ought to be :( And I find myself shouting at my children at times, and have to seek forgiveness. I get tired quite easily too, and at times wish that I could accomplish more. I suppose homeschooling parents would have to actively seek out opportunities for their children to make friends, or join some external activities or some field trips. Will that be overwhelming, on top of academia and the normal running of the house?
Ans 2) Do I struggle with feelings of inadequacy? lol, constantly! (
just read a couple of posts down and you will see, I mention it ALL the time.) Yes, I loose my temper too often and yes, I do have to ask my children for forgiveness.
Nobody steps into this parenting job with all the answers and with a perfect record. I take it as myself learning together with my children at the feet of Jesus. I am learning about my sinful self and how I do need my Saviour to cleanse me and help me parent, not in the flesh, but depending on the Holy Spirit.
Field Trips and seeking out friends... yes, we do that. Mostly it is the ready community of brethren at church that our children play with. And then, there is quite
a sizeable and active community of homeschoolers in Singapore and there's so much going on with these folks. Parent initiated activities, learning groups, Science days, geography days, history days, Sport's Day, museum trips, Open houses, etc etc....
As homeschoolers, we have the flexibility to work our daily schedules around field trips.
Call a holiday when it's a birthday or something. :) It's only overwhelming if you are trying to accomplish too much. But if you can let the school work rest for a day, catch up on another day, it is really meaningful for the children to learn outside of the desk and books.
Third, I have heard of stories where homeschooled children grow up, not appreciating the parents' decision to homeschool them :( That would be very sad. Have you encountered this, or what do you think could have caused this to happen? I have heard someone said before that children with certain characters are not very suitable to be homeschooled. For instance, children who are very outgoing, sociable, and love to make friends may find it stifling to be at home mostly (unless the family has many children). Do you think this is true?
Ans 3) Yes, I have heard of these accounts as well. Why not ask how many children who are sent to school end up rebelling against, ostracizing and disrespecting their parents? :)
Bottom line is, homeschooling can be seen as merely a vehicle of transferring family culture to the next generation, the academic part being a "by-the-way" thing. Parents can be successful or unsuccessful in doing that.
For us, it is the biblical injuction to train up our children in the way they should go: according to the Bible, this responsibility is given primarily to the parents. So that's why we do it with confidence.
Having said that, I do recognize that not all families are suitable to take the homeschooling path. I've come across many parents who think homeschooling is a great idea but who are at the same time fearful, and not confident, (and are content to stay that way). And then there are some kids who need to be exposed to social interaction situations so they know how to respond (like kids who are autistic.) Pulling a child out of school, when the child has become very happy with being surrounded by peers day in and day out, might be one of the difficulties parents may face, But by and large, I believe the success of homeschooling rises and falls on the parents, not the temperament of the child.
There is an excellent book about this subject matter by Michael Pearl, it's called Jumping Ship. (See right hand column of the blog, it's there.) His observation is that parental hypocracy is the biggest reason why Christian homeschooling families do not produce offspring who keep the faith.
To buy Jumping Ship (and lots of other excellent Christian parenting and homeschooling books) in Singapore, please go to
beiandkai.com
Blessings!
Suwei
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