Agnes, 15yr old Homeschooler talks about Socialization

My young friend, Agnes, was so kind as to oblige me with an article about socialization of homeschoolers by a homeschooler! She spent two years in the Primary school before being schooled from home. Agnes has since blossomed into a beautiful young lady who is friendly, confident, mature and very pleasant to be around with. No airs about this girl and always ready to offer a helping hand.

Here she shares thoughtfully about her "social life". :O)
Well, so much for the intro. Over to you, Agnes!:

Although I cannot speak for all homeschoolers about how we socialize, I can speak for myself. My name is Agnes and I’m a homeschooler doing Christian education in Singapore. As this method of education still isn’t very common in Singapore, some people may have common misconceptions or presuppositions about homeschoolers and their development. Most of the questions people ask me when they first find out I’m home schooling have to do with socialization.

When I was in primary two, my dad attended a Christian education conference which provided information about the particular program which I am now using, the method and schooling materials they use, and also pointed out what the Bible says about parents’ responsibilities, not only in providing an education for their child intellectually, but also spiritually. My dad was moved and believed that it was God’s will to take my brother and I out of public school and start Christian education. The main reason for taking us out wasn’t so much to shield us or protect us from bad influences or different kinds of people, but more so to prepare us to face them as Christians. My parents don’t take my education simply as academics and intellect, knowledge and information, but as what we will learn that will carry us through life. These are some of the reasons why my parents decided to home school us.

I remember my father sharing what he had heard from the conference with my mother, and telling her the burden that was laid on his heart to give us what he believed was best. I also remember him telling us that we were not going to school the next year, and that we would be doing something new at home. Naturally and immediately I thought about my friends in school and I did feel sad. Even with the encouragement and explanation from my parents I still felt sad, but I didn’t reject or detest the idea of home schooling. It was more like being sad for the sacrifice I had to make in order to enjoy the benefits of this new way of schooling.

I liked home schooling, and I also liked my friends, so I tried to keep in contact with them as long as I could. Today I still keep in contact with five of them, although we have grown and are very different. Schooling with my brother wasn’t that bad at all. In fact we are very close because of that. We know almost everything about each other, and this closeness helps us eliminate a lot of problems siblings have with each other today.

So coming back to my social life right now. Do I find myself getting lonely? I don’t deny the fact that I may not know a whole lot of teenagers my age, as I would if I were in public school, or that I have a limited amount of friends who mostly come from my church. Still, I don’t feel lonely, as I find that a few close friends who believe the same things as you are as good as or better than a whole bunch of group-friends whom you don’t know very well. These are the friends that I can share my walk with God with, things I learned from the bible with, and laugh and joke with. These are the friends that pull me back when I’m backsliding, and that I can do the same for. I’m glad to have these friends, of all ages and sizes, although they are few. I can be myself as a Christian around them without many obstacles. They are my church family.

This, however, does not mean that I don’t like being around anyone non-Christian or not a member of my church. (That’s ridiculous.) In fact, I love making new friends, and I don’t think I have much of a problem meeting new people, then again, to verify my social skills I do need another person. :)

Do I miss my school friends? That’s another common question. Well frankly, no, because we have nothing in common now and we aren’t little eight year olds anymore. Do I long for more friends? As I don’t feel lonely, I don’t feel any real urge to make friends just for the sake of it. I am, however, always ready to make a new friend.

Do I find myself differing from other teens my age? This question is tricky. I guess mostly the answer is yes. I am generally different in terms of beliefs and that affects my actions and decisions a lot. Many times people point at things I do or abstain from and say I’m weird because I’m a homeschooler. They don’t understand that I’m not doing what I do because I’m a homeschooler, but it’s because I’m a Christian.

Examples of differing areas would be going to the movies, being a fan of certain talent show contestants, going for rock concerts, dressing scantily, sneaking out, and the list goes on. This is mainly how I differ from most other teens, but other than that I think I’m the same. Physically I’m growing just like everyone else.

In terms of personality, I’m not extreme or eccentric, I hope. Mentally I can process things fairly well. Academically I’m pressing on, trying to do my best. Do I think I’m socially impaired because I’m home schooled? No, as I don’t need to go to school in order to make friends and develop social skills. Am I a ‘normal’ teen? That’s a really subjective question, isn’t it?

I’d just like to say that in many ways I may be different from the average public schooling kid, but I know why I’m different and I’m choosing to be different. Differences need not be a ‘side-effect’ of a home schooling lifestyle, but a stand that I choose take, which is the desired outcome of Christian education.

Comments

[Jamie]

Great article! Agnes, you should be a writer! :)