Hello my dear friend Suwei
'Tis the season again - the season for sharing and giving. No, no, I know it isn't Christmas yet but here in Perfectville, where 'kiasu-ism' is thriving, it's the season where we are requested to share - share our children's marks with others, that is! The official holidays are here again for those who have children in mainstream schools. Yippee!!! Yup, yippee for me because I don't have to face overly inquisitive moms who, rountinely after exams and more so after the release of marks, hang around a little longer at the void decks to conduct a little survey as to whose child/children did the best in the exams.
Here goes - a day after the end of the papers, the teachers are ready with everyone's marks. Marking is super speedy these days especially for MCQ sections where the students just have to shade their answer on the OAS sheet. Don't really know how it works but the 'marking' is done by the computer and it prints the score and percentage on the OAS sheet. So obviously, with the help of technology, teachers can focus on other sections of the exam paper, thus releasing the results to the students much sooner. Obviously, the day after the teachers release the marks, excited parents are forming groups to discuss and compare results.
One inquisitive and anxious mom asked me, "Your boy got Band 1 for Maths or not?"
"No", I replied. "I heard the paper very easy, you know?!", she went on.
"He did improve, though" I replied reluctantly.
"Ha? Got Band 2 lah - got the number 8 in front of the mark or not?" she dug deeper and deeper.
At that point, I wished my toddler girl had told me that she needed the toilet or that my husband would call me on my handphone, so that I could excuse myself. Well, that did not happen so I had to tell her that he scored 70 something.
The next day, same mom tells me that she heard my son's 'E' class had fewer failures in Science than her child's 'D' class. To her, that meant that the 'E' class is of higher standard than the 'D' class. "I tell you, ah - must be the 'D' class teacher not so good leh!" she lamented. Then she went on and on about the highest mark for Science in her child's class was only 72 while in my boy's class, the highest was 79. I had no idea where she got the info from as I was not aware of any of this. At one point, everything she said was gibberish to me.
The next few days, I got smarter. Everytime I sent the kids off to school, I would dial my husband's handphone number and talk to him till I was back at the lift lobby of my block. I did pass many 'aunties' by but because I was 'busy' on the phone, all I had to do was wave and give a nod. When I got to the lift lobby , I would tell my husband that the coast was clear and we would hang up. That went on until the last day of school. Occasionally when I did pass them by but was not on the phone, I would hurriedly zoom past them, gesturing that I was already late and had to go. So lame, right?
On the day the school had a Parent-Teacher's meeting, most of them, even after having their meeting with the teachers, would hang around and chat, often exchanging individual teachers' comments about their kids with each other. I mean, what is the purpose of this? So if someone else's child had done better than theirs, they would push their own, just so that the child would get better marks and that meant that their kids were 'up to the standard'?
I choose not to hang around and compare marks, not because I am embarassed about my son's results, not because his marks are less higher than theirs. I have no concern knowing all their children's marks and I do not see any reason why they have to know mine.
So you see, living in Perfectville might be perfect for some but not for me. For now, I will nurture my children in the best way I know how, to grow up accepting that mistakes are made and learnt from - that a perfect being does not exist. In the meantime, ooops! I hear my handphone ringing - got to be my husband. Till next time....................
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Thank you so much for sharing from a slice of your experience, GMW! Be strong and may you rise above all that hollow noise. You're doing a great job by staying calm about the results and I know your children will thrive in your love and belief in them.
Your friend,
Suwei
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