The Hand that Rocks the Cradle Rules the World

Before I begin today's post (otherwise known as "my rant") ... Happy Mother's Day from the Ong Family to any mother reading this blog. :O) Never underestimate the power of your influence upon the lives of your children! Let's remember (fearfully) to use it for the glory of God!

Our sweet little 5 and a half week old napping at church with my Mother's Day carnation.

My pastor mentioned today how our society so devalues Motherhood. In our society, the definition of a successful mother is one who can juggle family and career, is it not? How often we read in the papers of mothers who can hold down a top position job in some important establishment and yet raise 3 or 4 children.

On the other hand, how often have you seen in the media a mother who stays at home to care for her husband and children's needs: cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, being honoured as a "successful" mother? I can't recall even one, can you? 

If I'm not wrong, stay at home moms are portrayed in local drama serials (I don't watch) as kiasu parents who push their children to attain A-stars at the school at the expense of their child's happiness. Not a very nice picture of the SAHM.

(Btw, thank you, media, for being the mouthpiece of government policy to get women to give birth and not drop out of the workforce.) 

No wonder so many mothers in Singapore put down their instincts to be the main care giver of their own offspring and go out to work. How many women have convinced themselves that, yes, they can give birth to children, but no, it's not their cup of tea to stay at home and raise them.

But when they see the problems crop up with their kids, they start to scratch their heads, wonder what went wrong, start to look for solutions to fix the problems. Hubby and I have had parents of young children ask for advice how to train their child in this area or that. We can talk and advise till the cows come home but when those parents (especially the moms) are not the main caregiver it's close to impossible to correct the child's behavior!

Here's an ouchie statement: Basically, mom, you're not there and you've relegated your right and responsibility and privilege to train your child to someone else (the domestic helper, child care centre worker, or even the grandparent) who most probably does not share the same view as you concerning what's "best" for your child. That's the truth.  

If you've ever had the experience of training a dog, say in toilet training or something, it's an obvious fact that, well, the trainer has to be there. Why then is not obvious that to train a child, the concerned parent must be there?

Ironically, (or maybe not so), working mothers only will consider doing something drastic like stopping work to stay at home only when their children's grades are slipping at school. See where the real priorities are?

It wouldn't be a society like ours that would come up with a saying like "the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." Indeed, how pressing it is for present day mothers to see a vision of greatness before them: that they are raising the next generation who will affect change in the world. Not "the hand that rocks the cradle needs to see them successfully through school so that they can get a job thereafter."

And for Christians, are we raising a next generation who will carry this important message to a dark and dying world... "Except ye repent, ye shall like-wise perish"?

So... Mothers. Where would we be without them??

Be brave. Be a mom.

Comments

[Yi Huey]

thank u for speaking my mind, hehe.. most FTWM wil be so sore and for some, really cannot "rub salt on wound" becos financially difficult to survive on single income.

though i'm not really a full-time SAHM (working half-day), and Jodie does go to childcare, haven't seen undesirable teachings from the school teachers yet, so keeping my fingers crossed ;p otherwise, most of her other waking moments r with me or papa and that's how we like it :) of course we go to church and visit relatives and friends too.

i absolutely agree with u on the caregiver part. i find although she goes to cc, the bulk of what makes her her comes from us, presumably becos she knows we r her parents n we spend the most time with her and we love her the most. thats the reason y i wil never go back to a full-time job that requires more than 8hr of my time and energy everyday. i need to keep myself sane to do the little and mundane things for her and to be present to "handle" the occasional disciplinary issues. working mums sometimes underestimate the power of bathing, cooking, cleaning up for the kids. it may seem like a chore that they can delegate easily but these little things add up to keep the child "in tune" with the parents, and to desire to obey them.

[Suwei]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Yi Huey. Happy mothering!