How do you find the Time???

This is a hybrid question to the usual "How do you manage?" question. ;p

A friend on the Facebook page asks:

"Seriously... I've been wanting to ask, where do you find the time for all these + homeschooling + caring for baby?"

 Folks out there know that I've recently given birth to my sixth baby and somehow am still able to bake n decorate a three tier wedding cake. ;)

So... Where do I find the time... let's see...let me try to figure this one out too...

Well, we know that we all have the same 24 hours a day, right? So that's not it, I guess. :p Perhaps it's not so much about finding the time but how we juggle our resposiblities? I'll just try to identify certain factors or guiding principles of life that we live out. We try to live out our faith, be people of the Book. so to  speak. 

As I write, I find all these factors are interrelated, so forgive me if I don't rightly segment the thoughts.

Train the children To be independent. To extend themselves in service
I know why some people really wonder how I manage with 6 children. They don't have children who can "pull their own weight". Such children are constantly asking for attention, asking for help, asking for you to entertain them. More often than not, it was because the parents trained them that way, always jumping in to do things for them, always pulling out new tricks and ways to entertain the kids. The kids come to expect it from their parents.

Having children who can pull their own weight can help to spread out the work load, not everything falling on mommy's shoulders. It frees me up to do other things. ;)

I have this mindset when it comes to training independent children: child, you can find things to do (not turn on the tv!!). Child, you are able to help do this chore. It is a blessing to help!

Seriously, I do not spend every waking hour with my children, nor do I think that is healthy. After school work, my kids keep themselves occupied with the stacks of rough paper and scissors and sticky tape that are at their disposal. And the things they create are such a joy to behold!

Just Yesterday, while i was taking a nap, they came upon a rubber band rope and were happily launching their soft toys and whatnot into the deepest recesses of the room. It's madness and quite a bit of cleaning up and packing thereafter (which we sometimes do not get to doing till after a while..)

Oh yes, I guess it's essential to be comfortable with living with a mess. Not too big, but some mess has to be tolerated. I know some folks are such sticklers about keeping the place neat and tidy that it's just hard to live in that house!

I came across a funny post on FB the other day:
A messy house is a happy house.
This one's DELIRIOUS!

Lol. That's us alright. :p

So, readers of this blog will know my kids do all the household chores. These days, I help them (not them help me!) when I am free from baby. And then the older ones will help me with the baby when I need to cook dinner or decorate a three tier wedding cake, as the case may be!
They can help with everything except changing a poopy diaper!

MOMEE!!! Mei Mei pooped!!!

Not being so hung up on school work and academics
Asian societies, I believe are notorious for this. South Korea, Japan, Taiwan, Singapore. We worship education. Spend much time, effort and money to train our children from the earliest age to develop them so they can excel in this religion, the temple of which is school, the peak attainment- a high paying and respectable job.

Take heed to yourselves, that your heart be not deceived, and ye turn aside, and serve other gods, and worship them; (Deuteronomy 11:16 KJV)

Becoming educated: having a good working knowledge in maths, science, history etc. is good. It has it's place. But we have determined not to sacrifice our children at the feet of the education god of this world. Life is not going to revolve around the children's classes and exams. It needs to be the other way around. Life is the to be the main classroom. The Bible, the main textbook. And maths, science and all other subjects are studied from a biblical starting point.

As an aside....It's funny how myopic we become, growing up in Singapore. Like when I got praised for having talent in doing cakes, it was somewhat a strange thought to me because we grew up thinking that to excel in maths and science exams was the only praise worthy thing. Woe to you if you are not academically inclined! I mean, seriously, it doesn't mean as much to ace the home econs exams, does it?

But the world needs bakers! The world needs carpenters or car mechanics! I know someone outside of Singapore reading this will be thinking I'm stating the obvious but here in Singapore, it seems all the jobs are heavily White collar biased. And we straight jacket fit our children into that mold, even if that's not their calling.



Being outward looking and look for opportunities to be a blessing to others
As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith. (Galatians 6:10 KJV)

This is a principle of life hubby and I hold to. We encourage each other to serve. It is a big part of our family's life to be close to church and brethren (fellow believers). And to extend help to others who do not yet know Jesus, we do that too! Love is an action word. But we love, certainly not grudgingly! But because He first loved us.

And then, we have also often been at the receiving end of this from our church brethren who are always so loving and kind to pitch in and help whenever we have need too! I guess it's our church culture. And it's biblical!

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. (John 13:34, 35 KJV)

We firmly believe that if we want to grow children who love the Lord and want to serve Him (one of our parenting goals), we need to be seen doing it too.

The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice. My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways. (Proverbs 23:24-26 KJV)



Being diligent and having projects to do

I am the first to admit, I'm a lazy person! But I find energy to do things I love. ;P

Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men. (Proverbs 22:29 KJV)

He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich. (Proverbs 10:4 KJV)

In all labour there is profit: but the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury. (Proverbs 14:23 KJV)

I am coming to love that verse. Indeed, sometimes, when I get off into baking or sewing or something, it is not easy to see any profit coming out of it. Many times, I make mistakes and fail miserably. For me, I just keep trying, just learn from the mistake and grow from it. But the children are watching and internalizing how we handle mistakes and failure, and that is is far greater profit than just eating the cake that was baked!

___________________

That's all for now. There's probably more. I might write a book one day and answer question....properly. ;)

Comments

[Sharon]

Resonates with me, how comforting to know this :) "But the children are watching and internalizing how we handle mistakes and failure, and that is is far greater profit than just eating the cake that was baked!"

[chlorine]

Happy children = mess. Any parent who insists on having the house look like those in the magazines is crazy, erm... impractical. Just yesterday, my children had the greatest fun of the day. One was making a fruit tart (licking the cream filling off her fingers) and attempting to cut kiwis but ended up eating one. Another was making playdough from scratch and refused to move from my spot in the kitchen because she wanted to be me. And I needed to make dinner!!! The youngest was making his best effort to make the apartment look like it has just been rummaged by a burglar. It was almost like a war zone!