Happy 18th Birthday, our precious Abigail!
Young people and their Instagram-my pics. Here we have a solitary cat engaged in a staring incident.
I'll admit, I don't often blog about my no. 2, Abigail. She truly is a behind the scenes kinda person that doesn't call for the limelight or do anything that is spectacular. But that doesn't mean she is any less valued or valuable. It's just that what she doesn't lend herself so easily as topics for me to blog about. ;) But here, I dedicate one whole post to her. Nor does it say everything about her. Just a small little portion worth commending.
Abigail was the one who took care of my misconceptions 18 years ago that girls were easier to handle than boys. Comparatively, no. 1 was easy to train. He responded well to discipline and he was a very obedient child. Abi, on the other hand was stubborn. I remember I used to console myself by telling myself that stubbornness and persistence are the flip-side of the same coin. At 2, she was STUBBORN!
I think a lot of the friction I faced with her when she was very little was that she wasn't very vocal or verbal to express herself. It was difficult to get her to explain herself, or even to say "sorry" and "forgive me". She would just stare at me, silent, sullen and I would interpret that as rebellious behaviour. I would provide her with multiple choice scenarios to help her answer my questions why she did what she did. And even then, she would just stare at me. It was very, very frustrating. I have since learned that sometimes, it is hard to put into words what's in your head, and Abi is like that. Still like that in many ways.
Now, standing tall and firm at 18, we look back and simply marvel at what God has done in her life. If you think living the life of a homeschooler is a protected and sheltered life full of sunshine and butterflies, you've got it wrong. Who can escape the reaches and effects of sin? Our daughter's teen years had been marked with difficult situations, not of her own doing. It seems that the friends that God had brought into her life went through very traumatising periods or very disturbing periods of rebellion, and these affected her. For instance, 2 friends lost their fathers (one through cancer and one through a car accident), 1 friend's parents went through infidelity and break up (strong Christian homeschooling family), friends who are depressive. And several other cases that I cannot mention but not any less heart-breaking.
She has personally gone through rejection from friends and loved ones, through no fault of her own. (no, not BGR, nothing of that sort!) As a parent, I wish I could protect her from these sad and distressing things. As a mom, I think, my baby is too young to face these situations, she's not ready. Why is she a magnet to "problematic" friends??
But when I look back on those difficult journeys, I understand, God knew she was ready and God helped her through in order to grow her. It was a certainly a journey of growth for my husband and myself to guide her through, to understand what is happening or what she can say to encourage her friends. I think, her greatest trait is her sense of security in her Heavenly Father. She is able to reach out to others because she is so stable and rested in Christ. Some of her favourite verses are found in John 10, Jesus is her Good Shepherd who loves her, His sheep.
As a result, my dearest Abi has developed a sense of empathy for those who are in distress and struggling. She is sensitive and careful with her words to those who are hurting, knowing how words can be used to hurt and also to heal. She is pro-active to extend a loving hand, even if it is weekly travelling to another part of the island to be with a friend in distress. She has also had to learn that sometimes, we might not be the people to be the ones to help or the timing isn't ripe and so we should just wait and pray. I am truly so proud of her, she is such a blessing.
Psalm 144:12 KJV — That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace:
I have always loved this description of how we should grow the sons and daughters that the Lord has lent to us. But wow, it just struck me how that polishing is a process of peeling away dull layers through painful grinding.
Because of the way that God has led her, pursuing Christian Counselling in further education is within our scope of prayer and consideration. She sees how important it is to be more armed with the mind of God in order to better help people whom God might send her way. Pray along with us!
That's why, when I look back on these 18 years, I simply marvel how God's invisible hand has been moulding our dear Abi to be of great use to Him.
Proverbs 31:26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Indeed, I am so thankful that the oldest daughter is spiritually in the position to be a good model for the younger ones in the home. Below i share a little love note that she wrote for her little sister. It was lovingly kept in a file.
So sweet right?
On this her 18th birthday, in good stead to face womanhood, we pray for Abigail, that God would continue to guide her steps as she contemplates what path He has prepared for her beyond her homeschool days. We are also praying for her future spouse, a godly young man who will love, protect and provide for her all the days of their lives, that they would be a blessing to each other.
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
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