The ONG family Homeschool

Your Home Bible Time

 The childhood years fly by so quickly and the window of time that we have to imprint on their impressionable minds the knowledge of God and His plan of Salvation is very, very narrow. As such, what do we emphasise in our Bible Time with our children?

Mom, if you knew you could have a deep and meaningful impact on your child's walk with God well into adulthood, what do you hope his relationship with God would look like? For me, I hope my children would be saved, know and love God, walk in obedience to His will. And that, practically speaking, would translate into good character demonstrated in his work and daily life. 

I've been thinking some about bible "programmes" for our young children (12 and below). Some moms grapple with this: what do I teach? Would I teach my 9 Yr old about the history of church denominations or bible translations? In passing, I would, just to give a hint to the child that there actually is such a thing... but not as a main stay. 

As a Christian homeschool mom, I don't actually follow any curriculum for bible time with my children. We open the King James bible and teach from it.

Here I share the common themes I find myself gravitating to when I teach them, whichever the passage:

1) Who God is, the Love of God, His desire for all of us to be saved and walking in His will.

2) Good Character

3) how to apply Christian living in this world we live in.

See? It can be found here in Colossians where Paul talks about his heart's desire for the precious young church at Colosse to grow:

Colossians 1:9-11 KJV — "For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness;"

 

Bible Time is not about "academic head knowledge", though knowledge about Biblical facts is important. Don't treat it like a comprehension passage and make the children go through the passage and "answer the following questions". 

Bible Time needs to be PRACTICAL for daily living. By all means, we need to skilfully bring the point of the lesson to the child's level where they can understand and mostly importantly, do what they are learning about God. 

When our children are older and they face temptations presented by the World, battles that are within their own sinful flesh, key bible verses/passages that have been memorised will help them to have the power to do what is pleasing to God. 

One very practical issue is dating and how to find a wife/husband. Long before they are of age, I would begin to plant in my children the joy of setting up a godly family, the joy of having a spouse who walks in the same direction as themselves. (as according to 2 Corinthians 6:14.)

Right now, my husband and I have heart to heart talks with our older teens (young adults) about having the patience to wait for the right partner who displays the necessary qualities of godliness. In a time when it is so much easier for them to just follow the crowd and follow their heart, I'm glad that the years of planting God's word and God's ways in our children's hearts when they were young have become a firm guiding principle in how they should conduct themselves in matters regarding dating, courtship and marriage. It saves them so much heartache and scars!

So, when you start from the end goal (adulthood) and work backwards to what we should teach at childhood, I feel it should all come back to knowing God, having a relationship with Him and developing the right set of values and character that the child will make habitual. The time we have with them is very short and we need to prioritise what we teach in the bible!

Please feel free to share you thoughts on this matter that we may all benefit from different perspectives! 

 

Are You a Shepherd or a SheepDog?

Christian parenting. You should know this by now. I blog from a profoundly Christian point of view. And I know, it's the end of a crazily long, non-stop busy day at home with the kids. If you were to list all the things you did today, from cleaning out the washing machine dirt catcher thingy, to cleaning snot from the baby's nose for the up-teenth time, to cooking a slap- together meal in 30 mins... I'm sure the list will run very long.

You don't need a post like this right now. You just need to sit back and pretend you were invisible.

But I was recently hit by this thought and so I decided to put it in a long post. (short posts are reserved for Facebook and long ones for the blog. heheheh.) Let's humour me and over generalise things and imagine two parenting "strategies": the Shepherd or the Sheep Dog parenting. Having by now gone through 16 plus years of this parenting journey, and still currently handling a 4 year old, and the whole range of 6 kids right up to age 16, I can say, I have been both Shepherd and Sheep Dog, sometimes both in the same day! (I'm not very sane anymore, as you can see. Somewhat schizophrenic from mothering for 16 years.)

The Shepherd. The Bible uses this analogy of the Shepherd at several instances. Jesus calls Himself the Good Shepherd who lays down His life for the sheep. John 10:11 I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep. We also recall that well loved Psalms 23: The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

A good shepherd is someone who is concerned for his sheep and will do what he can to ensure the safety, protection, comfort and utmost care for them. Not only that, he plans ahead, looking for good pasture, watering holes for the sheep to be well fed and watered. He is always looking out for any sheep that goes a stray or hurts itself.

To translate that into parenting terms, I would liken a Shepherding parent to be one who cares for the well-being of her child- but not just the physical, mental and material well-being. Too many parents stop at that. If their kids have their designer clothes/shoes/bags, have eaten their favourite macDonald's meal, have gone for their tuition and other extra classes, many parents will pat themselves on the back and say they have done a great job. What, that twice a year overseas trip surely must score some good parent points too.

The years of growing and discipling the young ones that God has given to me and my hubby has taught me about the importance of Shepherding our child's hearts. So this is caring for their spiritual well-being. It entails a careful and consistent teaching of God's word and His ways to them in opening the Bible to them daily, making His word our way of life. And more so, being a good model to them by walking the talk. It is so important: open a physical King James Bible and read it to them. They have to have their own physical "swords" and have a highlighter ready to note important verses, commit them to memory! Don't settle for kiddy substitutes. The children need to learn that this is God's word and it has precious truths and we can rest our lives upon it!

2 Tim 3: 15-17 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.

If you as a parent don't know what the Bible says, then please by ALL means, be a good student of the Word yourself. There are no short-cuts. You can't give what you don't have.

This morning, as a family, we were reading Proverbs 20:1 Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise. We took the opportunity to dwell a little more on this topic of drinking. Our children already know that we abstain from all alcohol. But it was a great opportunity to open the bible again and show to them the specific verses that warn us about what devastation wine does to lives. We do have a young man in our household who might be entering National Service really soon (counting down the years!) and he (in all likelihood) will be having to face a drinking culture in there and he needs to have a good biblical foundation to stand on, not just "my mommy says I shouldn't drink."

Shepherding parents have a strong desire to bring their children to the Good Shepherd and He can be found through an abiding love for studying the Bible. Do you believe in the power of the WORD itself? If you do, then you would want to put it into the hands of your precious children.  

Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Pray for your children. Pray because it truly is a fight for their souls that we have to wage on their behalf, on our knees. 

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Now, I get to contrast Shepherd parenting to Sheep Dog parenting- the one who nips and barks. The sheepdog's main task is to get the sheep from point A to point B as a group without too much distraction or detours. Time is of the essence. The sheepdog tends to use force and pain to get his job done, like nipping and biting the sheep. 

Why are we always in a hurry? We need to get things done quickly but kids are slow, distracted, clumsy and at the worst time possible, they will break out in bouts of uncooperativeness. And that's usually when Sheep Dog parenting kicks in. Shouting, threatening, pinching, hitting: all the things that you never imagined you would do to a child before you had children. Suddenly, you realise that you weren't as patient or saintly as you thought you were. Children have such a way of bringing out the best and the worst in their parents!

I don't want to dwell here too long. I know you feel lousy enough as it is. You think you have failed as a parent. I'll just share a not-so-secret secret to overcoming Sheep Dog parenting- spend time with the Lord at the start of the day. Spend time in the Word to refresh your soul to allow Him to speak to you through his Word. And then spend time in prayer. Sheep Dog parenting, I suppose, is the equivalent of acting in the flesh.

Romans 8: 5 For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.

Feed your spirit daily and you will be able to do the spiritual work of Shepherding your child's heart. 

 

from my home to yours, 

Suwei

  
   

 

 

 

How Does Your Garden Grow?

If you, as a parent, were a gardener and your children were the saplings, how is your garden growing? I have many thoughts springing from recent happenings and I just thought I need to record it tonight. If this sharing hits too close to home, please understand it is not my intention to kick a fellow soldier when he or she is down. Nor do I intend to raise my family up as some sort of ideal. Our work with our children is far from done and we have to be constantly on our toes, to be sober and vigilant. I am heart broken as much as any other when I hear of Christian parents who are grieved by children who reject the faith. I humbly write to share what I have gleaned, especially to those young families with young children who are just starting this faith journey. I wish they would be careful to avoid pitfalls that have entangled so many others who have suffered before. 

 Just looking at my two older sons tonight, I commented that they are starting to look like twins. My eldest is now 15 and has grown taller than me. My second son (the third born) is 11 going 12 and going through a growth spurt. He has elongated and quite suddenly looks like he is soon to be as tall as his older brother. Of late, with the three older children all catching up with their papa and me in terms of height and stature, I have been feeling half engulfed by them being so tall. It takes some getting used to. They were once all shorter than me. 

the median height of my family has increased! Praise God.

More importantly, as I look as my once saplings now growing into young plants, I reflect on the health of the plants, my crop. How do I know my children are healthy? I want them to be happy in the Lord, glad and thankful to be serving Him. I want them to love the Lord and each other, as well as the church. I want them to possess a spirit of courage, determination, confidence, humility, compassion for the lost. I am so thankful to say, that by the grace of God, these are seen in various amounts in all the children, especially the older children. 

I'll share how we have been tending to this garden, growing them for the Lord's use. 

1) membership and faithful service at a good bible believing church that preaches the Word of God. I cannot underscore this importance enough. Wrong preaching will result in a wrong way of life and thinking that God never intended for His children to have. He intends for His people to have an abundant life. The Devil is a thief and a counterfeit who robs and shortchanges people, even the very elect, of their joy and a godly testimony. I am so blessed to have reaped good preaching for all these years at Maranatha Baptist Church, and our lives have been blessed for it. 

2) In accordance to the correct, biblical view of things, we need to understand that we the gardeners inherited bad seeds. Wicked seeds, evil seeds: seeds that have the potential of growing into an adulterer, a thief, a drunkard, a murderer.....Oh no, you may say, my baby is an angel. Yes, he may throw a fit sometimes, he may not want to obey me sometimes, but he is not evil!  

Jeremiah 17: 9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

 

I recently had a sobering conversation with my veteran missionary friend who also has six children about this very problem of how children who are raised in a godly home can turn out wayward. I'm sure many of us have pondered that question, after observing how even pastor's kids can grow up rejecting the faith and grow up reprobate.

 

My friend rightly stated that "all the teaching & training in the world cannot make our children respond to God. It must be their choice. If only they could see."

We need to understand that ALL our children are born sinners and in desperate need of true salvation through repentance and a turning to the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross. 

I'm so glad to read my 13 year old girl's sentence construction practice the other day. She was asked to complete the sentence: The principal objective of homeschooling is... and she answered- SALVATION. Do your children understand the true goal of education? 

2 Timothy 3: 15 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

We learn in 2 Tim 1 that Timothy's mother Eunice and grandmother Lois made it a point to impart the Scriptures to Timothy from a young age with the goal of making him wise unto salvation. We cannot save our children by living a godly life although that certainly helps prepare a good "spiritual climate" for the child to be introduced to the Person of the Lord Jesus Christ. Unfortunately, that does not ensure that the child will truly be saved.

True salvation is a supernatural work of the Holy Spirit, working in tandem with a good biblical understanding of sin and self before a righteous and Holy God. Romans 10 says: 

¹³ For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

¹⁴ How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?

¹⁵ And how shall they preach, except they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things!

¹⁶ But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Esaias saith, Lord, who hath believed our report?

¹⁷ So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. 

We want our children to call upon the name of the Lord and be saved. They will never come to have faith in this God unless their faith is grown through the knowledge of hearing God's word. Check your bible. There is NO OTHER WAY, my friends. What a privilege as a parent to be the first ones to write the Word of God on the slate of our children's hearts. Oh, be sure that the World will fight you tooth and nail to write (or, more accurately, graffiti)  on their hearts. Are you a jealous parent? Jealous for the pure, undefiled things of God? Or do are you one who thinks it is ok to flirt around a little here, a little there, a little Harry Potter (even though we have been instructed as Christians to have nothing to do with witchcraft and sorcery), a little Katy Perry (worldly music with all its themes of adultery, sex, and fornication), a little bit of online gaming just to relax and kill time.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

If today's Christians were to use this verse as their guideline for choices of entertainment and activities, (and we should), so much ungodly trash will be out the window. And good riddance. 

It is a battle for the souls of our children. All the battle hymns of old (Onward Christian Soldiers, Soldiers of the Cross) have been replaced soft, sappy, lulling love ballads that can easily be interchanged with worldly themes of lust. It is an unbiblical depiction of the true nature of our sin nature and how we need to fight it by the grace of God!

3) by love and joy, draw out your plants. How is your relationship with your children, each child? Do you laugh and play with them? Do they come and talk to you and tell you their heart? Joy is the glue that keeps a child stuck to his or her parent. (Read this article by Michael Pearl about joyful parenting. Read the rest of the website with Godly discernment.) 

Who wants a grumpy, snappy mom or dad who says that God is love?

Jeremiah 15:6 Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O LORD God of hosts. 

Does our daily countenance befit the gospel (the "good news") we preach to our children?

4) how much time do we spend in the dirt, working on the plants? I am saddened to see that sometimes, father and mother are so busy serving the Lord that their precious children are neglected and bitter. How can this be? The imagination that somehow, a servant of the Lord Jesus can circumvent His plan for the family (Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.) and somehow by some miraculous stroke, this sinful child will also grow to love the Lord? Check the statistics in the Bible for how many men of God whose children also followed after the Lord. It is pretty bleak. If you have a child who would love the Lord as much if not more than you, you are in an amazing minority. I'm sure that most of these parents who have successfully passed on their faith will say, it didn't happen by chance. It took work, effort, dedication and sacrifice to win that child's heart.   

I love this verse in proverbs 23:

²⁶ My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.

 Your son needs to SEE you and your ways. Not "hear of you". See you. This means actual proximity. I have heard of pastors, ministry workers who are so busy in the Lord's work, helping and serving others in need, and their children don't see them. And the child's heart gets stolen by friends and other activities. It is really, really a tragedy. The Devil loves it when that happens.

And stay home moms can be as guilty of neglecting their children as out of the home working moms! Highly possible! Just decide to keep the cleaning and tidying of the house as a bigger priority than sitting with the children. Or spending time online. Or whatever. I am often guilty and need reminders! God help me! 

We all need reminders, I need these reminders to myself. In our family, we still have tender little ones who need to come to the saving knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ, so the work is far from done!

But I do rejoice to see my older children growing in the Lord. For those with younger children, let me encourage you: the fruits of our labour in our garden is very, very sweet! 

The eldest loves to share the gospel with strangers he meets on the bus or anywhere. May God bless his efforts! It is wonderful that now my husband and I have multiplied ourselves, we have the older children who love God and His Word and are able to use it and share it with their younger siblings and counsel and encourage friends and whoever God places their way. We can share the burden, labouring together in prayer and deeds. May God see it fit to use each of our six arrows, sharpened for His use. They have joined our ranks and are in the training to be fellow soldiers of Christ! Truly, it is a great joy.  

 

3 John 1:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Attachment Parenting and the Biblical Parenting Approach

Miss Obnoxious (12yrs old) and her mom, Mrs. Subservient, sat down at craft flea market one morning. Miss Obnoxious wanted to sell some of her knick knacks and among them were some beads for threading. Another little girl comes to enquirer about the beads and mrs. Subservient begins to help the little girl with threading the beads. All through, Miss Obnoxious tells her mother how good she is at threading the beads and how she could easily teach the little girl *if* she asked her. Mrs. Subservient smiles and agrees and continues helping the girl by asking, which bead do *you* think should go on next? Always praising and sometimes saying. Oh, I'm not too sure about this way, how about this way?.... always sounding positive.
After 15 minutes of opening 'shop' Miss Obnoxious starts saying no body is buying her knick knacs. In a flash, Mrs Subservient says, "then I think we should pack up and go. We shall not stay." And they packed up and left!

(She was truly obnoxious!!)

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They were doing something different at KK Hospital when no. 6 was born in june 2012. They were encouraging mothers who have just given birth to hold their infants "skin to skin" for one hour after birth. That struck me as, I guess, weird, but now I know where it comes from- Attachment Parenting. (And I told the nurse, no need lah. Lol)

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I do not claim to be an expert on Attachment Parenting but I have read up on its history and what proponents of AP say. It is such a popular and widely practiced parenting style. I'm pretty sure it only became popular not more than 20 years ago in Singapore. My mother certainly didn't carry me around in a carrier and say positive encouraging things to me! I recognize the characteristics of AP and have observed it in other families, read it in the news, etc.

Because I have been parenting my six children for these 13 years based on something different- the Biblical Parenting approach, for want of a *term*, I'll just share what stands out to me as different when comparing the two parenting approaches.  It is by no means exhaustive but as I look deeper into the differences, I am coming to see how anti-bible and anti-God AP actually is. Ok, keep an open mind, hear me out.:) I hope that Christian parents out there will take the time to carefully take AP and place it under the microscopic lens of the Bible. Perhaps you will come to the same conclusion.

I'm pretty sure everyone's experience is going to be different. Some have shared Oh, AP has saved my baby's life, or AP has been the ruination of our family life etc. It's kinda anecdotal. Sometimes, one's experience can totally skew the decision for or against.

It's also difficult to nail down why AP works or doesn't work because everyone's definition is somewhat different. And definitely, there are some overlaps between the two, they are not mutually exclusive.

So, let's just look at the two approaches in the "purest form" (minus variations, as per what the proponents/bible says), analyze them by the general operating principles of the two approaches and look at the fruits of it.

Developing a Deep Relationship in the Early Years through "Attachment"
Parent (mother) developing a deep relationship through feeding/nursing, co-sleeping, communicating, understanding baby's needs and meeting those needs, play, baby wearing etc. etc.

I do not practice AP, but i do practise this as this to me is common sense PARENTING. (Having said that, I realize these days, common sense is not common anymore. ) ok, we may differ on bits about co-sleeping or demand feeding or carrying your baby everywhere but I'll say, being the main caregiver to your baby (versus, say, mother going off to work, leaving baby in the care of others) is "where the tyre meets the road" parenting is about, AP or no AP.

Definitely, babies need security. They were made to instinctively need their mother's care and comfort. Their world is right and settled when they know mommy is near. Their world is unsettled when mommy is gone. Sure, they can (like their mommies) deaden their tender hearts to adapt to life without mommy for prolonged hours. They will attach to someone or something else. They will learn love is transactional when the maid they have become so attached to leaves because their contract is up or when they are moved from infant care to child care class and class after class after class...

As for Biblical Parenting, the bible says women ought to stay at home and care for their children:
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (Titus 2:3-5 KJV)

Let's look at the Goals
The goals of AP is that the child grows confident and emotionally grounded, having their needs for trust and affection well met,  he will move from being a receiver to becoming a giver of care and love to others.

The goals of biblical parenting is that the child should grow in greater dependence and obedience to God, and all that that entails (becoming a godly man or woman).

I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. (John 15:5 KJV)

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil. (Ecclesiastes 12:13, 14 KJV)

Methods to reach those goals
AP: positive parenting. Building self esteem. Gentle instruction. Loads of praise and physical contact (hugs and kisses). Going wherever the child's passions and inclinations lead. Going with whatever will make the child feel good about themselves.

Things an AP parent would say:
What would YOU like to do today?
Do you want to wear pink or blue today? Oh you want Purple? That's a great choice!
You don't have to eat that if you don't feel like it.
(Child is throwing a tantrum and on the floor) Come baby, let's go and see if there are any birdies at the window? Do you want a snack now? Can I get you another toy?

Things a bible minded parent would say (and please imagine these being said in a firm but gentle voice):
Today we are going to the zoo, let's pray that it won't rain!
No, child, you cannot have more than one. And please take turns.
No snatching, you need to share.
Give thanks for the food and finish up what's on your plate.
Do you want to obey mama or do you want a spanking? Or
You need to obey mama, or you will receive a spanking.

Decision Making
AP puts the child's personality, inclinations, fancies at the centre of decision making.

Biblical parenting places the decision making on the shoulders of the parents. Parents are to instruct, lead, and guide.

My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee; So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding; .........Then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God. (Proverbs 2:1, 2, 5 KJV)

My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. (Proverbs 6:20-22 KJV)

Discipline and correction of the child.
Some say AP is not anti-discipline (use of the rod, physical punishment) but from many of the websites I've read, AP is about building up  the child's self esteem by correcting the child in a gentle, non-confrontational way.

"Practice Positive Discipline -- There is a strong push against physical punishment in recent years, but research shows that all forms of punishment, including punitive timeouts, can not only be ineffective in teaching children boundaries in their behavior but also harmful to psychological and emotional development. Parents are encouraged to teach by example and to use non-punitive discipline techniques such as substitution, distraction, problem solving, and playful parenting. Parents do not set rules so that their child obeys for the sake of structure, but rather to be the teacher, the coach, the cheerleader, and the guidepost as the child develops his or her own sense of moral responsibility within the construct of the family value system."
http://www.attachmentparenting.org/WhatIsAP.php

Really? Research shows ALL forms of punishment are harmful? Sounds so scientific and convincing.

askdrsears.com is kinda wishy washy about how *exactly* does an AP parent discipline her child. Apparently "one look" is enough to mentally convey to the child to stop misbehaving.

AP- misbehavior is attributed to some kind of tangled neurological disconnectedness in the baby's brain. (The Cantonese call it "qi seen". Just kidding.) AP's roots are, after all, in psychology, psychoanalysis. See John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth.

Biblical parenting- misbehavior is a result of our Adamic sin nature. It is part of man's nature to misbehave and do wrong. Without having being taught to, a child will misbehave! The Bible instructs parents to use both the rod and reproof to actively train the child, and shape the child's behaviour and thinking.

From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? (James 4:1 KJV)

The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. (Proverbs 29:15 KJV)

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6 KJV)

I know some parents feel that they grew up under tyrannical parents who caned them without reason and so they would swing to the other extreme in their own parenting approach. I empathize that these might truly be scarred in some ways because of their childhood encounters. But as God's people, we need to look at what God's prescription is for child training and follow it, if we believe He is the Creator and the bible His designer's operation manual for man.

The Products
AP proponents claim the AP children will switch form being receivers of care and empathy to becoming givers of care and empathy, or whatever they have experienced, they will then practice on others.

This is my main 'thing' against AP. It's a leap of logic.  I really don't see how if a child is trained to think he is the centre of the universe, why would he then begin to reverse that training, remove himself from the seat of power and then treat someone else as the centre of the universe? Where would the impetus for change within the child's mind come from?
Hence my statement (on FB): Attachment parented babies/ toddlers grow into attention needy children who grow into self centred teens.

 The product of an AP approach will tend towards a proud, arrogant and over-confident person. In other words: me, me, me.

Pride is the chiefest sin that God hates:

These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren. (Proverbs 6:16-19 KJV)

Godly attributes we want to see in our children are kids who are confident, independent, yet humble and meek. I'm sure we can picture such children. For instance if a child is unknowingly disturbing an adult and the adult tells him to stop, I think most people would like to see a child who would apologize and stop disturbing. We would frown on a child who would turn around and tell that adult off!

The Bible says that man is already born loving himself and does not need to be taught to love himself but it is unnatural for man to love others the way they love themselves, hence a commandment to do so.

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. (Matthew 22:37-39 KJV)

The bible demonstrates on several occasions how when one is treated well, the tendency is to forget and not return the kindness and even turn from God.
Deuteronomy 11: Israel is told that they will possess a land overflowing with milk and honey, they will live in houses that they didn't build. And yet they forgot God and followed after idols despite God's warnings not to forget Him.
Luke 17 tells so ten lepers who were healed and only one came back to thank and worship Jesus.

Biblical Parenting teaches a child to have empathy and love for others through acts of self denial ("wait your turn", "share your toys") and humility ("say sorry", "ask for forgiveness") and yes, difficulties and trials too. God uses trials and tribulations, the Refiner's fire to mold His children. And there is a place for hardship in training our children.

And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. (Romans 5:3-5 KJV)

So is AP ok if we only have one child? (since AP places such a heavy load on the parent to help/serve the child.)
An AP child is trained to believe his opinion is more important than mom's or dad's. The whole family moves according to his timing. Mommy is the child's butler. ;)

I personally would not practice AP even if I had only one child because I want my child to know that God (not themselves, nor mommy nor daddy) is the "centre of the universe".
In fact, Lucifer's sin was that he wanted to be like the Most High, he wanted to usurp the place of God. And till this day we see man's thinking still taking on the form of Lucifer's original sin of pride.

You know, it left a firm impression in my mind (more like a sour taste) about how full of herself Miss Obnoxious was and how her mother did everything to place her in a "feel good about yourself" bubble and shield her from anything negative.
Do you think she will grow up and face the real world and thrive?

Join Us for Our Family's Night Devotion!

The family is all gathered in the room for family night devotion.
It is a time of togetherness around God's word and we have such a wonderful time.

The activities and conversations ebb and flow but the mainstay is when papa opens the Bible and teaches us God's word.

Last night, I was just enjoying the love and laughter all around me and I just had to think, this must be a slice of heaven on earth. :)

8 pm, we opened our Majesty Hymnals (we each have one) and we took turns to choose a hymn each. We sang about Heaven, we sang about this sweet walk with Jesus. It is such a joy that the children can break into parts (some sight read the hymnal, some by ear) so that even when we don't have instrumental accompaniment, we can enjoy singing acapella. I pray God enjoys our singing too! :)

We will spend sometime talking about the song we just sang. Tonight, the conversation drifted to how God created the earth so marvelously. We talked about why the earth axis has a tilt to bring about the seasons. How giant Jupiter is out there protecting the earth from meteorite hits. When we think of all these being intentionally brought about by an all powerful God, how small and finite we become and how thankful and privileged we are to know Him and to call Him our Father!

Then the children requested a game of "Sword Drill". The bible is the Sword (as mentioned as part of the armour of God in Ephesians). So the game is to see who can can flip to a called out verse the fastest. This way our children familiarize themselves with their sword and it's really fun. Haha! It's a game we play in church.

However, no. 4 is an early reader and he cannot flip and find the verse as fast as his older siblings. No.2 suggests that he gets a 10 second head start. And they count slowly. :) no. 1 also tries to help him by giving clues. They all patiently encourage him as they know he is easily discouraged when he doesn't win at least once. :) In the end, we just had to encourage him to keep practicing and one day, he will be faster too.

Amid all the chatter and laughter, baby (7mths old) is crawling around and she finds her way to me for a little suckle and she falls asleep. It's noisy but she is all tuckered out.

We open our bibles to 2nd Corinthians and chapter 9. We have been reading through the New Testament and delving into it, gleaning many practical truths. It has been such a joy to read the bible together, re-enforcing what they already know, learning new things we have missed.. It is important that they know that what they are commanded to do (love your enemies, be patient, show kindness etc) comes from the bible and not just "papa said so".

Tonight, we talked about sowing and reaping and giving to God. What a reminder to us to be trusting in God to provide for our needs even as we give to provide for other's needs and the work of the ministry.

"But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully. Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work:" (2 Corinthians 9:6-8 KJV)

We do not give to get rich or get a promotion in our jobs. We give because we are but stewards of God's things and like the master to the faithful servant, God will see fit to entrust more to the servant who can correctly dispose or redistribute His things.

We pray that the children will learn this young. More so, because they have witnessed how God has always provided for us even when we provide for others, truths come alive in practical living. Talking to them about answered prayer shows them God is real as much as we are real to them.

We end with a word of prayer, remembering those who are sick, those who need The Lord.
Everyone gives mama and papa a kiss goodnight and they are off to bed.

I picture in years to come, when my children are all grown with children of their own, how one day they will sit around a table and reminisce about the times when they were children and they sang together at home and had bible time with papa and mama. We have good memories in the making and I am so thankful to God for that.

Dear Daughter's Testimony of Salvation

Another day of great joy for us! Our second born, the eldest girl (11yrs) was baptised today!

I still need to pinch myself sometimes. I can't believe this young lady standing before me is my little girl!! She is truly blossoming as a beautiful young lady who has a sweet spirit and a love for godly things. Surely it is by the grace of God because I can only think of how I should have done better to be a better mother to her. I'm not being pious.

We encouraged her to serve The Lord in whatever capacity she can now and in time, God will give her bigger things to do.

For independent baptists, we believe in believer's baptism, by water immersion. (No infants and no sprinkling)

As such, we have the candidates to say their testimony of how they got saved and the church, by the aid of the Holy Spirit, will vote to accept (or reject) the testimony and thereby joyfully add a new member into the church through baptism.

Here is our no. 2's salvation testimony. For His mercy and grace to save our dear child, to God be all glory! We are so thankful for this day!!!

*glad tears of joy*

---------------------------------

I was born in a Christian homeschooling family and have been taught about God since young.

8 years old:
On an ordinary night, when I was 8 yrs old, my family was having bible time. My father was talking about where we would be going when we die. He said that if we were not saved, we would be going to hell. That really struck me a lot as I was really scared about going to hell!!! This is because I knew I had sin. One of my sins that I can remember was telling lies. I told lies because I didn't want to be punished. And for that I got more punishment. I knew that for my sin I would not be able to go to heaven because my sins were against God who lives in heaven.

That night, my father also said something that comforted me! He said all I needed to do to be saved was to ask God for forgiveness for my sins and believing that Jesus has already died to pay for our sins.

One of the verses that I remembered my father read was 1john 1:9 "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all our unrighteousness."

9 years old:
The part of 'asking for forgiveness' sounded very simple to me. But yet I still didn't really understand the part of 'believing'. It was one year later when I was 9 years old that I understood what believing was. Believing is having faith and trust in the invisible God. The bible says that God is invisible in 1Timothy 1:17 'Now unto the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise God, be honour and glory for ever and ever'.

And Hebrews 11:1 says 'Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.'

At 9 years old, I believed the invisible God and I prayed together with my father to receive Jesus' gift of salvation.

10 years old (last year)
Sometime last year when I was 10 years old, I wasn't sure of my salvation because of my impatience with somethings and my siblings. That made me think back to my salvation experience at 9 years old and I wondered if I were saved. So, one evening, I prayed by myself in my bedroom and asked God to come into my heart once again and I asked God to help me to be more patient. I am now more patient with things and my siblings.

Baptism:
Last year after Dr Terri Coomer came to Singapore and MBC to speak and challenge young people, my father encouraged me to be baptised. I understand that baptism is the first steps of obedience to God and that it is one's public testimony to identify with Christ.

I want to be baptised because I want to serve and please God by serving in the orchestra and other church ministries. I also want to be an encouragement not only to the young ones but also to the older ones: to be saved, to be baptised and also stand for Christ.

Where our Love is, there we spend our Time

The kids love to hear stories about when they were small and see pictures of themselves.... Especially the ones that show them with mama and/ or papa.

The eldest got about digging our old photos the other day. He wanted to see how much his baby sister no. 6 looks like him. He calls her "mini me". :)

The bible says life passes quickly:

Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. (James 4:14 KJV)

Really, in the blink of an eye, my little baby is becoming a teenager!! His childhood is almost over. I'm glad he can look back on it with happy memories.

What do we want to fill our children's memories of childhood with? Hours and hours of school work, assessment books and tuition? Music practice? Running from ballet class to piano class to Chinese tuition? (Saturday Chinese tuition to ballet class, that was me.)
Lots of fun and play, going on holidays, eating at nice restaurants? My kids do quite a lot of that!

But you know, most importantly, we really want to capitalize our children's childhood time on grounding them FIRMLY on the Word of God, leading them to the Savior, teaching them to have a true relationship with God.

For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? (Matthew 16:26 KJV)

What is the point of providing so completely for our children only for the things of this life and neglect the things of eternity?

Do we, daily, read the bible and teach our children God's word?
Do we, daily, talk to our children about God, about our own walk with God?
Do we pray with our children and show them God is real through answered prayer?
Do we exemplify good character so our children can model themselves after us?
Do we ask them for forgiveness when we fail them?
Do we shun worldly activities and entertainments (pop music, most hollywood movies) which teach the children a counterfeit religion and nullify all the good bible teaching?
Dads, are you spending quality and quantity time with your family?

Dear readers, I am not perfect. I am examining myself too! But while there's a window of opportunity when they are young, there's hope.

Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. (Proverbs 19:18 KJV)

 The world is so tempting, the Devil is so deceitful. We (hubby and I) will not take for granted that all my children will be lured away by the world but by the grace of God, we will love them and draw them with all our might to us and God's way.

 

How do you find the Time???

This is a hybrid question to the usual "How do you manage?" question. ;p

A friend on the Facebook page asks:

"Seriously... I've been wanting to ask, where do you find the time for all these + homeschooling + caring for baby?"

 Folks out there know that I've recently given birth to my sixth baby and somehow am still able to bake n decorate a three tier wedding cake. ;)

So... Where do I find the time... let's see...let me try to figure this one out too...

Well, we know that we all have the same 24 hours a day, right? So that's not it, I guess. :p Perhaps it's not so much about finding the time but how we juggle our resposiblities? I'll just try to identify certain factors or guiding principles of life that we live out. We try to live out our faith, be people of the Book. so to  speak. 

As I write, I find all these factors are interrelated, so forgive me if I don't rightly segment the thoughts.

Train the children To be independent. To extend themselves in service
I know why some people really wonder how I manage with 6 children. They don't have children who can "pull their own weight". Such children are constantly asking for attention, asking for help, asking for you to entertain them. More often than not, it was because the parents trained them that way, always jumping in to do things for them, always pulling out new tricks and ways to entertain the kids. The kids come to expect it from their parents.

Having children who can pull their own weight can help to spread out the work load, not everything falling on mommy's shoulders. It frees me up to do other things. ;)

I have this mindset when it comes to training independent children: child, you can find things to do (not turn on the tv!!). Child, you are able to help do this chore. It is a blessing to help!

Seriously, I do not spend every waking hour with my children, nor do I think that is healthy. After school work, my kids keep themselves occupied with the stacks of rough paper and scissors and sticky tape that are at their disposal. And the things they create are such a joy to behold!

Just Yesterday, while i was taking a nap, they came upon a rubber band rope and were happily launching their soft toys and whatnot into the deepest recesses of the room. It's madness and quite a bit of cleaning up and packing thereafter (which we sometimes do not get to doing till after a while..)

Oh yes, I guess it's essential to be comfortable with living with a mess. Not too big, but some mess has to be tolerated. I know some folks are such sticklers about keeping the place neat and tidy that it's just hard to live in that house!

I came across a funny post on FB the other day:
A messy house is a happy house.
This one's DELIRIOUS!

Lol. That's us alright. :p

So, readers of this blog will know my kids do all the household chores. These days, I help them (not them help me!) when I am free from baby. And then the older ones will help me with the baby when I need to cook dinner or decorate a three tier wedding cake, as the case may be!
They can help with everything except changing a poopy diaper!

MOMEE!!! Mei Mei pooped!!!

Not being so hung up on school work and academics
Asian societies, I believe are notorious for this. South Korea, Japan, Taiwan, Singapore. We worship education. Spend much time, effort and money to train our children from the earliest age to develop them so they can excel in this religion, the temple of which is school, the peak attainment- a high paying and respectable job.

Take heed to yourselves, that your heart be not deceived, and ye turn aside, and serve other gods, and worship them; (Deuteronomy 11:16 KJV)

Becoming educated: having a good working knowledge in maths, science, history etc. is good. It has it's place. But we have determined not to sacrifice our children at the feet of the education god of this world. Life is not going to revolve around the children's classes and exams. It needs to be the other way around. Life is the to be the main classroom. The Bible, the main textbook. And maths, science and all other subjects are studied from a biblical starting point.

As an aside....It's funny how myopic we become, growing up in Singapore. Like when I got praised for having talent in doing cakes, it was somewhat a strange thought to me because we grew up thinking that to excel in maths and science exams was the only praise worthy thing. Woe to you if you are not academically inclined! I mean, seriously, it doesn't mean as much to ace the home econs exams, does it?

But the world needs bakers! The world needs carpenters or car mechanics! I know someone outside of Singapore reading this will be thinking I'm stating the obvious but here in Singapore, it seems all the jobs are heavily White collar biased. And we straight jacket fit our children into that mold, even if that's not their calling.



Being outward looking and look for opportunities to be a blessing to others
As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith. (Galatians 6:10 KJV)

This is a principle of life hubby and I hold to. We encourage each other to serve. It is a big part of our family's life to be close to church and brethren (fellow believers). And to extend help to others who do not yet know Jesus, we do that too! Love is an action word. But we love, certainly not grudgingly! But because He first loved us.

And then, we have also often been at the receiving end of this from our church brethren who are always so loving and kind to pitch in and help whenever we have need too! I guess it's our church culture. And it's biblical!

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. (John 13:34, 35 KJV)

We firmly believe that if we want to grow children who love the Lord and want to serve Him (one of our parenting goals), we need to be seen doing it too.

The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice. My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways. (Proverbs 23:24-26 KJV)



Being diligent and having projects to do

I am the first to admit, I'm a lazy person! But I find energy to do things I love. ;P

Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men. (Proverbs 22:29 KJV)

He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich. (Proverbs 10:4 KJV)

In all labour there is profit: but the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury. (Proverbs 14:23 KJV)

I am coming to love that verse. Indeed, sometimes, when I get off into baking or sewing or something, it is not easy to see any profit coming out of it. Many times, I make mistakes and fail miserably. For me, I just keep trying, just learn from the mistake and grow from it. But the children are watching and internalizing how we handle mistakes and failure, and that is is far greater profit than just eating the cake that was baked!

___________________

That's all for now. There's probably more. I might write a book one day and answer question....properly. ;)

Cell Splitting is Tiring Business!

Word is getting out. Lord willing, next July, we will be holding our baby no. 6. I am reminded not to be presumptious but to say "Lord willing" it will happen.

James 4:14-15  Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.  For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.

Hubby and I are truy thankful for the five beautiful children He has bestowed us with. The pregnancies have not all been easy. I was hospitalized for dehydration for the 2nd and the 4th. With the 5th, I even contracted pneumonia in the first trimester. I don't know what this pregnancy will bring but I do know God is in charge, though sometimes He seems far away. 

So, I don't mean to brag, but I've gone through enough pregnancies to note this trend: there is no consistent trend wth pregnancies. lol! Every pregnancy is different. For example, when I was soooo sick with no. 4, it was so similar to no. 2 pregnancy, we were quite certain no. 4 would turn out to be a girl since 1 and 3 were boys. But nope, no. 4 turned out to be a boy (who made his mama really really sick!!)

You won't believe how thick my file at KK Hospital is. lol. And my gynae, Dr Han, (been with him for every birth!) has more than enough reference to plot my progress. Just remembering now... some of those were live birth forms that had to be signed by the doctor after delivering the baby. They are stained with blood and amniotic fluid. 

Eldest son (11yrs) went for a course on stop motion animation recently. He came home and told us he did a short "claymation" that was like cell-splitting. You know, from one ball to two to four to eight to sixteen... I don't know how far he got. He must have been inspired by a "how a baby is formed" video we watched recently..... and his new sibling inside of me. :)

His video got me thinking, cell splitting is tiring business! Even if I'm not doing any of the actual splitting. :p It's gotta take something from me, right? I mean with all that cell division happening somewhere in my inward parts.

So far this pregnancy has been relatively (comparing with five others) good. I'm not sick to the point I can't eat. In fact, I find myself eating and eating coz when the blood sugar drops, the nausea kicks in. I've only actually hurled twice so far. That's really really good.

Most predomiantly, this pregancy has been characterized by my lack of energy. I've been TIRED! I do the smallest of tasks and then I need to nap. Making trips out always ends in a fatigue that invades every muscle of my body with this heaviness that weighs me solidly down. It takes sheer will to fight it and move to get myself home and back in my bed to zzzzzz.

Bloated and gassy? CHECK.

Facial pimples? CHECK.

I'm yawning right now as I type.

I was thinking about the reactions so far from those who know I'm expecting our sixth. There's the usual, I can't even cope with my one/ two/ three, how do you do it??

Some ladies (my Christian friends) even want to make a visit to my place to see how on earth I do it. LOL! Like a field trip! LOL...I'm afraid, they will see our messy, tornado stuck house!

Well, I do not have six little kiddies lah. :) Thankfully, now my older children are older and are more able to do things. Eldest has been baking bread, learning to cook, etc. They help with all the laundry and dish washing and floor cleaning. Ok, granted sometimes, it is not up to standard, but that's all part of the practice and training.

I've said this before, the hardest time as a SAHM was when I had an infant, a 2 plus yr old and a 4 plus yr old. Looking back, that was the hardest time. Once they hit 5, they are a lot more "lucid" (haha) and are bigger, taller to help around the house more.

The key is: train them well.

That's why we resist employing a helper. Sure it's the more troublesome route but the children will miss so many learning opportunities otherwise. But then, that is also our homeschooler lifestyle. We place life skills quite as important as academics. I do imagine many kids out there have so much homework and other classes to attend that they have no time to do the dishes or the laundry.

There have been some not so nice comments. Well, they just don't know what a joy living in a large family really is! Each child is so unique and brings a different dimension into family life that's so enriching and meaningful for everyone.

Some reason that they would need to be financially able to support x no. of children before ever considering another. Well, for us it is purely a matter of faith. Not faith in faih, but faith in God. I am weak, but He is strong.

We have been primarily living on a single income for 11yrs now, and our family has been growing. But you know what? God is faithful! We have NEVER suffered lack.

The key is: Put God and His business first. He will take care of our business.

Matthew 6:30-34  Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Malachi 3:10-11  Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.  And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the LORD of hosts.

We do not give to God's work in order to get rich or have "promotions" (that buzz word "promotions"). We give because we want to honour God and acknowledge Him to be our provider and we rest in Him and trust Him. It may certainly seem foolish in some people's eyes, but I shall not worry over tomorrow. God is more than able to take care of me and my family. :)

Okies. Time to zzzzzzzzzzzz

 

 

 

What a Godly Wife can learn from a Plaster.

 

On Saturday at church, we had a bridal shower for one of our dear young ladies (she has such a heart to please God, bless her!) who will soon be married to one of our godly young men.  So our pastor's wife set us married ladies on a task to come up with a verse or poem or something along the lines of imparting to the bride-to-be some lessons that we have learned on our marriage journey. We were to leave it to her as a keepsake.

I was thinking of a small gift that I could give her which could be some kind of object lesson of what qualities and characteristics a godly wife should posses. I came up with a plaster. lol! I gave her a whole box full tied up in a ribbon.

In thinking about all the design features of a plaster, I came up with the following list of what a godly wife can learn from a plaster. Here goes. Hope you enjoy it. :)

What a Godly Wife can learn from a Plaster.

 1. A Plaster Protects

Proverbs 31:11-12  The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

 A Godly Wife protects her husband’s image and reputation by her behavior and actions.

The Example of Abigail:

1 Samuel 25:3  Now the name of the man was Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance: but the man was churlish and evil in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb.

Here we note the example of Abigail who did all she could to appease King David's wrath against her foolish husband Nabal. Her wise actions saved her husband's life and won the praise of David.

On another note, a Godly Wife also protects the home from any ungodly influences, both preemptively and actively. She helps to meet her husband’s every need so that he will not be in want.

Hebrews 13:4  Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

1 Corinthians 7:4  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

(Do I sound like the spokesperson for a certain notorious woman's club? ;p )

2. A Plaster is Medicated and is Antiseptic.

 1 Peter 3:1  Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation (**not just speech but behaviour and actions) of the wives;

 1 Corinthians 7:14-16  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.  For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

 

Though the above 2 sets of verses apply to a saved wife to an unsaved husband, we can learn that a Godly Wife can affect the spiritual health of her husband by her godly submission.  I would double underline the word submission if I could. Not preaching or nagging or emotional blackmailing. *note to self

 

 

3. A Plaster is Stretchy

 Proverbs 31:27  She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

This one verse doesn't explain it very well but if you look at the Proverbs 31 woman, she is an all rounder! She can assume many roles and take on many responsibilities and many different spheres. Consider: she is on top of managing the household's food, clothing- her children and servants have no lack. She does a home business. She can manage finances, buy and sell.. etc. etc. 

A Godly Wife is flexible and well rounded and can stretch to meet any situation. She has learned to work with her hands and keeps learning new skills to expand her repertoire to better serve her household.... Not the boss at the workplace or the company. That's bible.

 

4. A Plaster is Skin Coloured

 (Though I know these days, they have cute and loud coloured plasters for kids, little and big.)

Proverbs 31:23  Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

1 Peter 3:1-4  Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

A Godly Wife is discreet and blends into the background, not seeking glory of her own but the glory of her husband. In turn, his glory will be her glory and praise as well. How beautiful is that? :)

 

 5. A Plaster is Sticky

 

Ephesians 5:31-32  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12  Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

A Godly Wife is a faithful, covenant wife. She has thrown her lot in together with her husband, through thick or thin.

I'd like to throw in this little tidbit about what I learned about the difference between a contract and a covenant. A Contract is nullified when one party does not uphold their part of the deal. A Covenant still stands even when one party doesn't uphold their part of the deal. 

A Christian marriage is a covenant and not a contract. And God is a covenant keeping God.

 

6. A Plaster is pretty Tough and Durable

Proverbs 31:17  She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

A Godly Wife is spiritually, emotionally, and even physically tough to handle the rigors of the day and every trial that she may encounter. By the grace of God she will overcome and have the victory.

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There was another item I wanted to add in for the bridal shower but it's not a "common" use of plasters so I didn't. But after a good laugh with a dear sister, sister V, I decided to include this one.

7. A Plaster can come in handy to Plaster the Mouth

As in when the Godly Wife has moments of, erm, how shall I put it....  disagreement with her husband. :p This is possibly a sub-point under point no. 5.

James 3:5-6  Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!  And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

Psalms 39:1  I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle, while the wicked is before me.

   

Proverbs 27:15  A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. 

Proverbs 17:28  Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.

LOL!